What a Bitch of a Day?

New Blog

2008-07-24T20:01:00.001-07:00

Please visit my new blog at http://www.thaneshsadachcharan.com

Kobe is still one of the Greatest!!!!

2008-06-19T10:51:00.000-07:00

Kobe is still one of the greatest players ever to play the game of basketball. He could arguably be the No.2 player of all time behind Michael Jordan or atleast in the top 5 when you consider Magic, Bird, Wilt,Kareem etc. His knack for getting the baskets at the right time, his ability to play defense, his mind blowing moves and most of all his hard work ethics and pure talent. These skill sets have all been achieved or mastered even though he does have raw pure energy and talent.

What I don't get about Kobe is why the media/press seem to be out there to get him even if he makes the tiniest of mistakes. Look at the NBA Finals for example. People give so much hype and attention towards Pierce from the Celtics but Pierce ain't nothing without KG and Allen. If KG and Allen played for Lakers and Pau Gasol/Odom for Celtics - I bet there would have only been 4 games and you know who the winner is.

It seems like people expect Kobe to win on his own and if he does not, then they are ready with the blame game. Having been frustrated at how some of his team mates were playing, you got to give him so leniency too. Pau Gasol was playing as if he could not lift a single dumb bell. Odom was committing fouls on the offensive end with "charging", and Derek Fisher never showed up like he did with the Jazz last year. The two Eastern European players well - lets leave them out. This is not Kobe's fault.

But one thing is for sure. Kobe has matured and you could see it from the press conference after Game 6. I hope the team goes into the off season and works on their defense and "roughness". If that can be done, Bynum being back and they trade someone to get an "actual Machine" that can shoot 3 pointers at will - than you have an excellent team in the making for a few more years to go. I would go to the extent of getting a veteran player who can play good defense, a bit taller than Derek Fisher as well. Pau Gasol seems like he can learn to play rough and hard and Odom definetly adds some blend.

Hopefully the Lakers are back!!! And Don't Blame Kobe if they are not!!!!

India - A racist country? A secular country? or just a new powerful dude?

2008-06-11T10:45:00.000-07:00

As you might very well know, if you are a cricket fan and even if not, that Harbajan Singh was accused of being a "racist" when he visited Down Under. Now the outcome of this complaint by the Aussies against the Indians, was a huge uproar, burning of effigies and of course the Cricket Board in India flexing its muscle to say that it will withdraw from the tour. The public was OUTRAGED that an Indian could be called racist by a "white dominated" country. This is the part that I found really funny. INDIANS ARE RACISTS. PERIOD. FULL STOP.

Why are they racists?

1.) Ever heard of North Indians and South Indians and the way they treat each other?
2.) Ever heard of the Caste System?
3.) Ever heard of how Muslim Indians treat and act towards Hindu Indians and vice versa?
4.) Ever heard of North "NORTHER" Indians being kicked out of Mumbai?
5.) Ever heard of the mockery thrown at South Indians for their accent?
6.) Ever heard of how the white people in India get better treatment than Indians themselves?

If that doesn't prove India is a racist country - I am not sure what is - oh yeah and the monkey chants too.

Oh now we have new phenomenon in India called - "No Rules". Well I think it has been there for a long time but you would think that since the country is highly visible on the global map right now, it would change some of its ways. Well from purchasing toxic waste from Western countries and dumping it in their own land to get rich - can it get any worse? Oh yes the Indian Premier League. Well obviously Mr.Modi doesn't want anyone from the Indian Cricket League to play in his tournament. To say he is a visionary is plain stupid. This guy basically got the idea from implemented systems in England & Wales and also a growing one in ICL and put it into play with the huge backing of the BCCI. Where is the vision in this? Now they want to create a new Champions League which basically includes a bunch of teams from other countries as well - something like UEFA cup. Oh and they have a new rule - No players from ICL : http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/england/content/current/story/354353.html.

What I do not get in this whole post that I was writing is why do Indians have to bash themselves? They are on the world map. They are considered pioneers in alot of ongoing issues. They are "considered" to be friendly people - so why the hatred in all these other departments. The country that gave birth to Kama Sutra basically considers a sex a taboo now. For God's sake what is wrong with some cheer leaders doing their "thang". Is that a worse crime than the president of the BCCI ruining the lives of the farmers in India?

Come on people - think about it. Even in this day and age, can a Muslim boy marry a Hindu girl without all the crap going in and out?

India is still backwards in many departments. Maybe even IT.

The pain of being away from "Home"

2008-04-13T22:50:00.000-07:00

I write this post in the most distressed state, and thus the "English" can be a "bit off". Apologies. Having not slept for quite a while, smoking here and there, not worked out in a few days and most of all even my favorite cheese dogs suck. The burden of work is getting to me and primarily because I am in the mode - "It is all on my shoulders". Thankfully a wise friend of mine advised and that mode seems to be fading away. Great for me but not sure about my employers and client. LOL.

So pain of being away from "home". What does this mean? Well if I were at home the following would take place:

1.) Don't need to cook
2.) Don't need to clean or do laundry
3.) More friends and amiable environment
4.) Relaxed atmosphere - thus taking the "stress" away
5.) And my mother would be there to take all the "heat"

So for you lucky fellows who are back home with your parents and working - You lucky f*****s.

Race, Politics and my Point of View!!!!

2008-03-24T12:49:00.001-07:00

I am sure most of us have heard or seen Barack Obama's last speech on race and his associated with his pastor. I thought it was an inspirational speech which also reflected an individual's courage to speak out honestly and from the heart. As suspicious as it might seem to come from a politician, I felt that if people gave George Bush a chance to go to war with Iraq, they could at least give the young senator from Illinois the benefit of the doubt about something which he acknowledges as not right and needs to be fixed.

The speech had various other implications on a personal level. I began to dissect and understand the issues that arise with not only racism but prejudice and stereotyping. Our contemporary society is full of daily events that occur because of a predetermined view of certain groups of people and places. It is hard to abolish such mindsets altogether because of the simple fact that we as humans just have that trait - to judge and be judged but it is important to open up communication on issues that are potentially divisive and harmful. It is also amazing to see how such stereotyping affects us on a personal level. Obama spoke about the African American kid born in the projects whose height of ambition is being gangster and how middle/lower class White America could resent the other ethnicities for taking their jobs away, but it is more than that. Stereotyping affects me personally because of self infliction as well. The South East Asian community has stereotyped itself to be in the Engineering, Medical Information Technology field, and it is very rare to see someone cross these borders and if they do, they are considered mis-fits within their communities. I have always wanted to follow or have some sort of footing in the Political Science arena, but the level of confidence that I have in the IT field is far greater than that I would have in the PS area and it is not because I am a shy person or my personality reflects that of a non-confident individual. It is because psychologically my mind has been altered by perceptions set in society that I might not be "so good at it". This kind of politics is not played in a Congressional environment or a parliament but in everyday situations by people whom we have a very close relationship with. It is like a chain reaction. Someone sets a precedence that desis are good at IT. More desis start learning computer languages and the next thing you know, if a desi is good at Geology, it is seen in an awe and shock manner.

When the speech was considered to be at a broad level, I do not think anyone understood at the magnitude of its importance and the scope it covers. I think the speech reflects issues that are not just associated with the pastor and Obama but with us and ourselves. The importance for us to see past the precedence set by ancestors, the need for us to listen and then judge, the height of hypocrisy exhibited by each and everyone of us when we talk about religion, respect for each other and forgiveness. I am not sure whether Obama tried to be Atticus Finch, but in my opinion I think he tried very hard to see the world in others' shoes before delivering that speech. I think you cannot ask for more from a presidential candidate or from yourself - you need to at least try.

Do you know how I felt today morning?

2008-01-17T11:00:00.000-08:00

You wake with hope, an idea of ecstasy to fill the air,
the long for belonging and to be belonged,
to know that nothing can happen to ever bring you down,
to feel that nothing could ever hurt you.

You wake up with a sense, it vibrates like no other,
smell, touch, taste, hear but not see,
but seeing is worth a thousand battles, and
maybe one day I would wake up to admire the splendor.

You wake up with tranquility, a peace of mind you never had before,
that you could remove all the worlds' burdens from your chest,
just so that she can lie on it freely,
passionate and dreaming about whether I can care about anything else.

I woke up today,
Born again by feeling, that I can never control,
A hole that I had felt long ago, one that I patched and one that is worn,
Yet even if it opens up, I hope to wake up again and I hope the feeling,

Is not yet gone…..

Never Before ...

2008-01-17T10:55:00.000-08:00

A million words would not be able to describe,

How I feel about you at times…

A million years pass by and I hope I feel,

Just the same way when I dream of those beautiful eyes…

A hundred thousand women would walk on this earth,

Yet right now I feel that you are the prettiest in my world…

A hundred thousand times I would wonder what you think,

I doubt you will tell me, but I hope that some day you will…

A thousand times you would ask me not to think about you,

Every day goes by, and I wake up with what I thought last night,

And that’s you…

A thousand cruel words you might say and a thousand more,

So that you make sure you are clear,

But that sweet word I long for will vanish those thousand away…

A hundred breaths I would take to slow my beating heart,

Yet even on the slowest beat, I can hear it – your whisper, my love …

A hundred reasons you might give to stop me from courting you,

Yet I have a billion more to say, to stay with this feeling so true…

One second goes by; I am stilling thinking of you …

One more word and I feel like a life time is through …

One call in the morning and this life’s worth has been fulfilled and true …

One day, I hope you feel the same way as I do about you …

Interesting Question - Episode 1

2007-12-22T00:27:00.001-08:00

This is a series of interesting questions that are asked from me by an interesting friend. The questions and ideas all belong to my interesting friend, and maybe some day at this person's permission, the name will be posted

Question For the Day

Then sun rises in the east and sets in the west. What does the moon do?

All answers are accepted.

Cheers.

Fade Away ...{Fiction}

2007-11-16T19:51:00.000-08:00

Heart pounding, dimensions of the world unknown, he sat and waited patiently in a car he had only dreamt of never driving - a Toyota hybrid. The iphone sat next to him quietly and he wished it would shout out, so that he knew her presence was near. It was his dear friend though, because he rarely met her and it made sure that he could hear her voice loud and clear. AT & T's new city was called Housportfrancolbai and it served its purpose. Looking behind, he saw the red symbol of his honest feeling, residing peacefully, waiting for its owner to whisk it away. He felt and hoped that the single sign would be enough to make her understand his true intentions, in its purest and meaningful form. "Can you ask a rose to do anything more?", he thought to himself. Maybe, he chuckled to himself, he could ask it to never fade away, and then reflected again on his cheesy thought. Seconds seemed like years, and the usual vibrant, always on the run fool, was sitting patiently.

The strumming voice of the iPhone echoed out in the small car and he picked it up as it were pure gold about to melt in his hands and he had the sole power to save it. Responding quickly, he shifted gears and made way to the arrival lounge of the airport, in eager, earnest and his hands sweating. Swirling his head around, he looked for as if he had lost the most precious object in his life, and being in the smallest car in the world didn't help his cause. After the quickest 4 minutes in the world, he caught of the sight, he was waiting to see - elegant, beautiful, and adorably wearing a kurtha. He caught sight of the lip gloss as well and had to deviate his mind to ensure that he was not fascinating about it - at least not till she was dropped home. He felt like he had to get down and open the car but the policeman standing beside the vehicle had the most "get out of here" face and he had to do the next best gentlemanly behavior - open the door for the lady from inside the car.

Her "hi" was just a squiggle of the hands as she was busy on the phone. Decreasing the volume, he began to admire her cute voice, the one that he would hear over his best utility. He wasn't the fastest driver, and he did not mind having the quality right now. She hung up the phone and looked with a friendly smile. He knew there was nothing more in those eyes, or was there, he thought to himself. As the night poured in, he strolled out the hybrid onto the quiet roads of the hilly city. A wonderful car drive, he thought to himself, I hope this doesn't fade away ...

Genuine

2007-06-22T12:03:00.000-07:00

Genuine ...

I want to genuinely bring your head,
lie it on my shoulders, and let you know that all your burdens are mine ...

I want to genuinely hold your hands,
Let you know that I am here for you ...

I want to genuinely kiss you cheeks,
Feel your thoughts and let you know - what you are thinking ...

I want to genuinely admire your green eyes,
Hoping for a reflection of myself ...

I want to genuinely smile at you,
Letting you know that I am thinking about you even when you are in front of me right there ...

I want to genuinely hold you,
Wanting to recite words that I have never felt before ...

I want to genuinely run my fingers through your long hair,
Admiring everything that comes across its path ...

I want to stand in front of you genuinely naked ...
Stripped of all my armor, possessions and everything I have ...Just me ...

I am genuine when I say .... I ...I will be there for you ...

And all I expect in return is ...
One sweet genuine smile .....

-Thanesh Sadachcharan

Absence of Innocence...

2007-06-11T20:41:00.000-07:00

define:innocence

Innocence is a term that describes the lack of guilt of an individual, with respect for a crime. It can also refer to a state of unknowing, where one's experience is less than that of one's peers, in either a relative view to social peers, or by an absolute comparison to a more common normative scale. In contrast to ignorance, it is generally viewed as a positive term, connoting a blissfully positive view of the world.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Innocence

define:creativity

One can define creativity as the mental phenomena, skills and/or tools capable of originating (and subsequently developing) innovation, inspiration or insight. Pop psychology generally may associate it with right or forehead brain activity or even specifically with lateral thinking.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creativity

Does innocence and creativity correlate in any form? What leads to creativity? Why is a child's work examined in awe whereas the same work driven by an adult is thought to be average or foolish?

I was having a chat with my mentor and a colleague at work where the conversation revolved around reading books, examining one's skill sets and the motivation/persuasion of success. My mentor, an advocate of reading, has consistently asked me to read and I have consistently not obliged to this move. First of all I am too lazy to read but another factor is that I feel I can google the answers that I am looking for. The third factor and some might call this foolish and utterly stupid is that I feel some books might lead to the deterioration of my creativity or have a "guilty conscience" feeling within me if I were to carry an idea forward from something I read in a book. It is even simple in a romantic setting, i.e. if I read a romantic novel and I display what I have read in an actual setting, I could see my ego within me being thrown out of the window and a feeling of dullness creeping in and a little bit of disappointment as well.

Maybe I am just confused with originality and creativity ...Maybe i am indeed ....

Smile ....

2007-05-26T14:53:00.000-07:00

A slow fading wave slipped through the air he was breathing. It was a sign of freshness that he had long waited for all his life. The feeling of belonging was nearing and he could see it. Tempted, but holding away he could neither smile nor express himself in anyway. Speechless on one hand but desiring to say all he could on the other, she was mesmerizing him. Unique, he thought to himself, for she not only had the sweetest smile he had ever seen but the most intriguing and mysterious gaze. He could paint her portrait, right there and then if only he had a stencil brush and a canvas. She tilted her head to the right to allow for a view of her face from a side where he could secretly admire the beautiful ear rings she was wearing. Sparkling diamonds were put to shame on her pretty face. She turned back and rolled her rings, and he wondered whether she was just bored or in plain misery for she was having dinner with him. He sat back and took the chance to admire her again, knowing that a few more minutes of silence and she might just get up and walk away......

Desirability

2007-04-13T09:19:00.000-07:00

Levels of desirability can be monitored and quantified on different aspects of life varying from your social ambitions to personal milestones with your partner. Some desirables come pretty easy, like what you want to have for lunch today or a movie you want to watch but there are certain other things in life that are pretty hard to desire. Dreaming on the other hand is easy - everyone dreams to do certain things in life but personally i feel desirability along with self motivation and luck take you along way. For example I have a dream of doing my MBA but recently i have noticed fluctuations in my desirability. I think motivation is not a factor here because it can be instantaneously engineered with an individual like myself but desirability is the key. I have noticed this sudden behavior with some other things in life as well, i.e. reading books, working out, buying a new car - all of which is telling me that I am not doing something right. Suddenly i realized that my desirability and motivation level hit a small high in the past few days and I think I know the reason why.

I feel that desirability in these aspects that I have noticed where fluctuation occurs and most of the time it seems to be hitting a pretty low mark is because of my social environment. Whenever I am around individuals whose intellectual capabilities are much stronger than mine or their energy to believe and desire certain things are high - it creates a resonance of sorts. The frequency that they think and believe and so highly hold their values and ambitions vibrates into the individuals around them. I have noticed this with only certain individuals and I guess we need to identify this among ourselves when we meet and socialize with individuals whether we can be on a "desirable energetic" frequency with them. From the beginning of my career I guess I can count with one hand the individuals whom I think if around me all the time during work, could easily push me to levels of excellence. I guess sometimes this has to do with impressing the folks, just like what you would do in school - trying to impress the professor but most of the time it is because of the high standards that they set for themselves, the way they interact, their communication skills and the way they carry themselves in their life. This is not to say that I lack motivation and I believe most of the time I am pushing myself, but after having watched the movie "Idiocracy" - I believe that you will only reach a certain level in any aspect of life depending on your social environment and the desirability that surrounds you. i.e. - I want to buy a BMW car but everyone around me has a nice 1997-2000 Toyota/Honda model - my desirability is low but when my VP comes from Austin in his cool Volvo convertible - it hits a high and I want my BMW. Another example, I want to set high standards and think about implementation scenarios, strategies for future projects but everyone around me is keen on just getting the work done but I am sure if my ex PMs {there is more than one but i believe only 2 have my highest respect} was here I would be thinking differently.

Anyways, I hope I did not get off topic there for a while. The point is make sure you surround yourself with people who have the next level of thinking, motivation, intellectuality and most of all the desire to succeed in everything they do. It takes you to that next level of your game. This can be with a mate you hit the bars to meet a few nice ladies{i am sure you do not want to go with a guy who is keen on just getting plain drunk and standing alone talking to himself} or playing a sport - or just thinking.

Cheers,

Listening!!!

2007-02-14T21:02:00.000-08:00

Ah the word - listen, as described by "Google define: " would mean "heed: pay close attention to; give heed to; "Heed the advice of the old men".An important aspect of my life which I am working on and something that i really need to conquer to reach some of my goals and ambitions. Lately i have been getting quite a bit of feedback from two individuals on how to get better at the process. I have obviously expressed my desire not to change my personality in any sort of way and the initial response was "Hmmm. Ok no probs". I guess that is much better than "Ah well thats is going to be a problem".
The main theme of the feedback seem to be - "Stop thinking while people are talking". It goes without saying that I do think quite a bit when others are talking - sometimes to the relevant topic at hand, sometimes on how to respond and most of the time about that lovely girl I met the other day at the bar and who refused to look at me :). It also has come to notice that I should pay close attention to the individual talking and absorbing all what he/she is saying. This seems to be my biggest obstacle because the intensity of my focus on a piece of conversation is rather low, especially if it does not include the opposite sex. Another major focus point is that I should not regurgitate the first thing that comes to mind. If processed correctly and indulged upon, the result set would be far better and more precise than the initial regurgitation. Again, I seem to lack this as well. First thing that comes to mind - first thing that comes out of my mouth - something like FIFO i guess - First In First Out!!!! It has also come to my attention that little tiny mistakes here and there add upto a huge sum in the long run. Thus a valuable lesson - prevent that from happening - start working on it NOW!!!
My major obstacle I feel is my personality itself - Quite talkative, absolutely annoying and spontaneous just during conversations and no other aspects of life seem to be quite the opposite ingredients that a good listener possesses. So after deliberating about it over some beer and a chat I have come to a conclusion that I will try to sell to some of the people I respect and see whether it seems credible enough to implement. I, of course, am adamant on not changing me and the bigger me too but just tiny aspects here and there. That needs to be taken into consideration during this requirements gathering/implementation phase. The issue at hand is "when is a good time to be a really good listener" - Does it apply at the cafeteria or does it seem better to store that focus and energy for something that could relate to a bigger issue at hand such as a business meeting or small team discussions? Now I am guessing I am going to really suck if I were to be a good listener all day and that can never be implemented. What I can try to do is add a small aspect to my before going to meeting routine or a team discussion I know is coming up. Usually i just take a couple of minutes to ponder over things and speeches if necessary for a quick minute or two. I can add the "conscious effort speech to listen" to this cycle. I probably need to be able to take a quick 10 second pause and get back into focus if I become consciously aware that I am not listening. This is something I tried with my lecturers in university. More often than not, I would nearly fall asleep at their barrage of words and I would have to remind myself that I am spending quite a lot of money to attend these sessions so I might as well listen and gather as much information as possible. Something along the same lines could be applied here as well I suppose.

Anyways, listening seems to be an important part of learning and improving but not at the expense of losing one's identity. It should be assimilated into one's personality without compromising the core assets and values that got that individual to where he/she is currently. Imagine if Kobe Bryant were to lose his clutch plays and shoots just because he wanted to pass the ball much more and help his teammates. Nah thats not possible but what Kobe is doing these days is integrating the passing game into his own style - That makes him a great learner of the game and a better team player. You know he is GREAT with or without it !!!!

"KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid"

2006-12-05T11:46:00.000-08:00

This is a phrase that every coder/devloper probably needs to brainwash themselves. Something that my new project manager told me after a brief chat with him. Too many times have I got into a mess because I am looking at problems in the most complicated of manners. I guess that kinda represents my personality - give me an extremely hard problem and I might solve it but give me 1+1= and I would go nuts thinking about whether the number 1 actually denotes the amount of one, its history, why did they name it one as one and not one as two and all kinda crap.

Anyways moral of the story is that keep things simple and try not to fuck around too much in the head. You usually end up with good and better results.

Cheers,

Burning ...[Fiction]

2006-12-02T14:07:00.000-08:00

"Focus", he thought to himself. Eyes filled with vengenance and hatred spilt from his brains to his blood. Fist gripped like steel, ready to strike at any given moment. Oppurunity was the key. Thoughts and memories swept on his highways, ever reminding him of his past. "Focus", he said to himself. Pain, agony, depression and hate were all his good friends now and he needed them. He bit his lip, savoring the moment when he would plunge himself into the grasping hands of revenge. He flexed his teeth to cling onto both sets and the nerve broke off his forehead while his cheek muscles bulged out. The eyes opened wider, the broadness of sight enlarging every second as the prey got closer. He would not breathe. The small sound of breath could bring risk to his very existence. The day was dark; an irony indeed in retrsposect of a brilliant, good man turned into the devil. The smell of blood was close nearing and he longed for it. Grabbing his axe ever so quietly, he crept towards the naive object. Hungry he was but without the need for any digestion other than justice. With a sudden burst of anger and proximity on target, he ran towards the object - 200 men without any clue of his presence..... [To be Continued ...]

Felt ..[Fiction]

2006-11-24T12:47:00.000-08:00

The clear waters of the Tempe Lake fought with each other like kids in a school playground and were as beautiful as the children’s eyes. The Arizonian Sun, a muscular heat wave that even if one longed for it to set, was mystified by its ever presence and the beauty of its final show. She sat there awaiting, speechless in heart and mind. She wasn’t confused but she felt the nervous tweak in her ears, as if all this time someone had been kissing it lovingly. There was no one around but she held the most precious object in her hand – her mobile phone, the only communication she had, to hear his voice. A stranger he was but with the essence of a soul mate. She breathed the fresh air surrounded by the utmost tranquilized nature, hoping that she could hear the busy noises of New York to shatter her thoughts. She didn’t want it to be shattered, she clinched onto them like it was the last thing that kept her alive, kept her human and kept her waiting. A profound reader she was but she knew all too well that no words could describe the sweat in her palms or the uncontrollable desire for him. She smirked at her herself. For the first time, not only was she controlled by just mere thoughts and imaginations but she knew it consciously and she didn’t want to get rid of it. Waiting, she thought to herself, she might never feel this again. She looked back at distinguished memories where the human presence was null but existent. A complex relationship where she felt she had made all the right choices, rejected all that she felt would not make sense, and obliged to anything that made her heart just tick abnormally. She laughed again but this time at the pathetic Sri Lankan guy who had turned up at her house the other day and made a fool of himself. Funny, nice guy, but so were all the others she had met in her life. None had possessed the calm, calculated and yet vibrant presence that he had, even without him being in front of her. She felt as if she was Juliet and he was Romeo, caring less about his appearance, his background even his employment status. She laughed again at the possibilities of disappointment but she knew herself to well. She wasn’t the type to be easily misled by anyone, but she was led here and she was led to him.

Another huge breath of air, and she was about to throw a stone into the lake to see the ripple effects; somewhat an irony she thought as she was about to throw it, for her life had been like that till she had heard him - an effect of mere ripples and turmoil. A hand touched her shoulders and she squeezed her eyes in excitement, fear and love! She turned around to face the only wonder in life she wanted to meet. He held her softly and brought her to himself knowing that she was his and he was hers. A feeling that can be matched by the powers of the sun surrounded the small lake. He held her face and she closed her eyes, this time in waiting, and he planted the ultimate gift. The most sensual feeling swept through her body and she could see herself melt. She felt it and she knew he did too. He grabbed her hands firmly, and she saw felt his pulse and a refreshing feeling swept through her. A smile and no words yet, they didnt need none. There was no ultimatum, and as they saw each other with wonder and care, they realized and hoped that there can be no ending to such a sweet story.

Thanesh's Cribs

2006-11-19T12:01:00.000-08:00

Here you go, the producer, the director and moi - the main actor

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1725839949350817886

Check it out.

Cheers,

:)

Poems eh!!!

2006-11-12T20:16:00.000-08:00

A colleague of mine decided to write a good post so I thought I should share that with my "readers"

Rajiv's Blog - http://www.thousandtyone.com/blog/default,month,2006-11.aspx#a3f499763-b199-49f9-ba31-d63d8589664e

Its a pretty interesting article from an individual who takes his "passion" very seriously.

Here is my answer to his "riddle question" in Thanesh's own sort of way :) - A "riddle" answer!!!

Am I a Coder?
---------------

Its 8 and I am up and away,
Another day and whole another ball game,
Ipod is on, summer of 69 is bashing,
Just to get my thoughts on path and my adrenaline pumping.

Bugs, coding, and a whole lot of talking,
Seems to be a parcel,
And negative feedback back too,
Just seems to be another hassle.

“Can you fix” – People ask me,
I smile back thinking – “I am not that retarded or does it seem?”
Like many others, I am in transition to a new path,
Some say career, some say job, some say passion and I say – “I can’t be a Doc”!!!

A tech man, I will strive to be,
Hibernate, .NET, Java, spring – and more technologies that I will do for a fee,
The greatest, the best, and the awesome – I have not yet become,
A couple more years and my name will hopefully possess some.

Projects, tasks and time on bench,
We coders don’t rule our lives – just some henchmen,
We learn, we code, and we give it our best,
Only for someone else to reap the rewards from the bugs we just tested.

As I look around I see talent and a whole of dedication,
Damn did the VP of Solutions put these guys on some medication?
Some ask questions, some just don’t,
I like to cause trouble and just a little bit more.

I walk into the office, head held high,
Another day, and another beginning and I surely will fly,
The task is set; I need to train – so that I don’t have to save up for raining days, {FIREDDDDDDDD}
The laptop is on and the room is lightened – HOLY CRAP I AM DREAMING AGAIN –

“One day I will begin by running the whole SCEHME“

Cheers, :)

Coding and Match Practice!!!

2006-11-12T19:58:00.000-08:00

I am a huge cricket fan. Well fan would be an understatement if I had free cable or some connection to watch cricket for free in the USA, for I would do nothing else but watch cricket. Thank God its expensive, otherwise well I will get fired and also be broke.

Anyways I was going through some old articles on the net about Sri Lankan cricket and suddenly came across an interesting one. It said that the Sri Lankan Cricket Board should provide more match practice for touring teams especially the weaker test nations to get used to the "spinning" conditions and flat tracks. Hmmmm interesting isn't it and absolutely right.

Why?

Because with match practice comes confidence and the ability to cope in a real match situation. If one's confidence increases so does one's ability perform better and yeild in excellent results. Of course there are exceptional cases.

Well, I was thinking about the days on my first project when there was alot {ALOT} of work, and my mind was kept consistently busy with deadlines {which I didnt meet of course LOL}, meetings, lessons to learn and mistakes to make. Thus this match practice/environment or work/coding that takes place ensured that my confidence level rised. Yes I did muck up on more then a few instances but so does a batsman or a bowler on a given Test Match or ODI. But I was in match mood, because of my previous "match practices" or as some call it "initial development stage or learning stage of the SDLC". So when the matches/tasks came along - I was ready and continuing to progress. Thats what happens to cricketers too as the play in more real matches and get more time at the "crease". Confidence level rises, you put your mistakes behind and look forward to the new task/match.

Recently, it seems like this is not happening because I am spending a tiny bit of time "on bench". Something like practicing in the nets. It does help since that phrase "practice makes perfect" is apparently true but you still need to play the game to feel the pressure, excitement and the thrill of satisfaction of finishing a task or scoring a hundred.

I am a batsman in the nets but hopefully I caught the selectors' eyes. :)

Cheers,

Beer and Mathematics!!!

2006-11-12T19:48:00.000-08:00

So lately I have been counting my calories. Yes the calories consumed by my body everyday. Not all the time but whenever it consciously hits my idle mind. Saturday was a very interesting day. After wacking a really good lunch - chicken curry and rice cooked by yours truly, I decided to take a good afternoon nap to burn it all off. Night came along and it was time to meet my friends Coors Light and Bud Light. Now a 12 oz bottle of Coors Light has apparently 105 calories whilst a 12 oz can of Bud Light contains 110 calories. Dinner was good again adding more calories. After 3 bottles of Coors Light and 4 cans of 16 oz BudLight, I set my eyes on the 5th can when suddenly my idle mind started thinking.

"How much calories have I consumed today?"

Ok time for my mathematical mind to start computing. Assuming that dinner and lunch added to around 1000 - 1500 calories and a couple of coffee breaks - that would be hmmm something along 1500 i guess. So 5 cans of BudLight anad 3 bottles of Coors Light. But the BudLight was 16oz and I read that only a 12oz can contains 110 calories. So thats going to be lets see - 110/12 * 16 * 5 + 105 * 3 = A rather odd number.

Result = I consumed more calories then I needed and ended up with a blistering headache because I was doing mathematical calculations while drunk.

Moral of the Story:

"Do not think while you are in the company of alcohol" - It doesnt help with computation issues or with women. :)

Affinity and Job Description

2006-11-03T14:01:00.000-08:00

We all have feelings of ambitions/affinities, in ourselves about certain things we want to achieve in life or would like to do. Some can be considered dreams and dreams only while others become a reality. The difference of an ambition/affiinity that is only a dream and one that becomes reality depends on various factors. Some key ones are luck, hard work, sacrifice, talent, intelligent decision making and a whole lot of gut and the courage to follow what you believe in. I do not try to follow all issues that I think about but I have a small philosophy that I abide by on almost all days - "Don try to change yourself personally Thanesh and go with what you feel". Very simple and allows me to sleep at night in peace because I just went with my gut and I trust that alot.

The real question to ponder on is "why shouldnt i follow my affinity"? {people seem to easily forget this these days}. Do I just want to be another person who walks into work and follows his "job description"? Personally I think job descriptions or following them just keeps management from giving freedom in most instances and thus no room for exploration/experimentation and mistakes. My organization has certainly given me more than that freedom and for that I am lucky, but I want to push further. I know if I stick to just one technology or one area of work, yes it will be great to become focused and specialized but I rather take my chance being a rouonded person. So far, I think I am able to adjust and carry out my job description but add some value {ok its minimum thus far but I am trying :) }. {Well some might argue I am not adding any value right now since I am blogging :), but its Friday evening, come on}.

My affinity is towards people management and my job description says developer - hmmm time to put two connecting tributaries together and get on the main stream ...

Is it War? Brink of War?

2006-11-01T06:16:00.000-08:00

I was watching a Jon Stewart Clip from Youtube.com the other day and was just completely amused at not only the humor in the small clip but also at its relation to the current situation in Sri Lanka. Well I guess the peace talks failed and obviously from what I have been reading so far, the closure of the A-9 road seems to be beneficial to more than one minister and their friends in the business world - especially the shipping business. Selling food, clothes and other basic necessities in a war ridden place is a good revenue and I guess some "ethical" {sarcastic} businessmen are making good of it. Alright anyways this is the clip from youtube.com:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBd3pYaEcA0

Is Sri Lanka at War? Is the CFA implemented or no?

Anyways, just a random correlation analysis.

Cheers,

P.S Read my post on War Ridden Countries Ready for Business - http://thaneshk.blogspot.com/2006/07/breaking-news-war-ridden-countries.html

I want to be useful !!!!

2006-10-30T10:21:00.000-08:00

"You know, I quote in the book a wonderful letter that Benjamin Franklin wrote to his mother because he obviously had an aptitude for business and she kept on wondering why would you go into politics? And he said that, you know, on his tombstone he wanted it said not that he had been rich but rather that he had been useful. And, I love that idea of deciding what will be most useful to me. "
- Senator Barack Obama {Illinois, USA}

A Brilliant idea indeed. How does one become useful? What is the purpose of being "useful" and to whom? Just oneself or to society? How do you decide on such factors and the consquences? I began thinking about these questions about 2 weeks ago when I watched the Larry King interview with the charismatic senator from Illinois and was just impressed by his answers, his humble arrogance and intelligence and of course the title of his book "The Audacity of Hope" {Going to get it soon}.

So how do I become useful? Hmmm been thinking about that and well I have come up with three scenarios:
1.) Be useful to my parents - well i guess its ever kid's dream to do something for his/her parents, but i want to make it a reality. Do whatever they would like me to do for them, except for of course stop partying :).
2.) Be useful to the organization that i am working for - I guess this is important as well because this is a deciding factor for the 1st option. So need to add value to my organization - thus enjoying the rewards that ripe from it.
3.) Be useful to society - Do something once in a while, well where I do not necesarily feel that i am expecting something back in return. I guess i am selfish to feel good about the deed I have done but then again i am just human.

So I guess this is the overall high level analysis. Option 2 and 3 can be broken down into detail, and well I guess I will sit down and decide them during this weekend. Option 1 - well even if i say NO to it - my mother would make sure i carry it out LOL.

Think about it - How are you being useful ???

Cheers,

Any Lankans in Houston???

2006-10-14T18:33:00.000-07:00

Hmmm so after moving to Houston, now i feel like i have lost part of myself - my Lankans. So i am trying to find out whether there is any Lankan community in Houston. So if you know anyone, any clubs, please post some links or contacts here.

Cheers,

Reverting to Google Reader

2006-10-13T12:59:00.000-07:00

Well i guess with all the Buzz around Google Reader, I decided to join the BandWagon and leave my RSSBandit reader to rest. Uninstalled it so that I wouldnt make the mistake of allowing it to popup, consume my memory and than eventually i will keep forgetting Google Reader.

Cheers,

A New Small Side Project

2006-10-10T12:24:00.000-07:00

Well thanx to the advice from a talented colleague of mine from work, I have decided to start on a small side project - Work on my own blogging site and move all different categories of blogs that i have to that particular site {Not that i have alot now anyways :) }. I have decided to start with the "Requirements Phase" - What the hell do I want other than a blog that can allow for multiple categories of content? Do I need a damn openCMS running in the back that does much cooler stuff? Wait hold a second - Should my website be able to send information to NASA? So, I guess i better work on the requirements eh - before I get ahead of myself.

Anyways looking at different options of the blogging API world{weblog engines}. Anyone has any recommendations please post it here. Thank You Already.

Any recommendations from your past projects would help as well folks.

Anyways thought since my colleague did me a favor might as well do him one too. Rajiv - your new website {unless of course you do not want me to do this, please let me know} is being advertised officially on my blog - Everyone please visit www.thousandtyone.com/blog - This guy has brains so you are bound to find something useful for yourself.

Cheers,

The Sri Lankan Supreme Court DID WHAT????

2006-10-09T13:11:00.000-07:00

I am not sure whether any readers out there agree with my opinion but where the hell is the Supreme Court leading Sri Lanka to - the next North Korea???

PLEASE READ THIS ARTICLE

http://www.asiantribune.com/index.php?q=node/2402

This is RIDICULOUS

So now what happens when Mahinda Rajapakse agrees to some international treaty and the next president says NO. So ridiculous.

Oh What Bad Flights!!!

2006-10-09T01:34:00.000-07:00

Alright on my way to Houston, Texas I had to fly from Colombo to London, then London to Chicago - clear immigration and then fly to Houston. Now Colombo was fine. The Sri Lankan airlines' ladies were nice, sweet, helped out a lot and well if you looked posh or white, they might also give you a sneak peak into their assets. ;). Overall Excellent - Love Sri Lankan Airlines and not because i am Sri Lankan. So arrive in london, and i had to go through security. Now the "old testament" rules stated that i can carry one cabin baggage along with my laptop bag but the new one says NO. Laptop Bags are also considered as "one" bag. So now I had to check in the damn bag into United Airlines but in order to do that , i needed to leave the airport. Oh yes leaving an airport means I needed a valid UK visa/transit visa. Oh well, didnt have that and being Sri Lankan didnt help because the officer at the Passport Control said UK doesnt do Sri Lankan transit visas on the spot. Heard a "not so funny" joke from the officer's colleague whom I suspect is a Sri lankan as well because well we tend to be idiots at times - instead of helping each other we like to cause panic and harm. He said "shall we deport him, let him get his UK transit visa and than come back". Well knowing i had a backup solution - "Put laptop in big cabin bag and throw laptop bag away", I said "WTF", to which he replied "Talking to my colleague mate". LOL. Felt like telling him please dont meet me in that uniform next time. Anyways the officer was nice and he ended up giving me a 24 hour transit visa. {I need to verify whether Lankans really dont get this choice, or was i just lucky or were they playing me}. Well the trip from London to Chicago sucked cause the seats were small and me being 6' 4'' - well i like my leg space. The guy in front didnt help much by pushing his seat backwards and it ended up being a not so enjoyable ride. Immigration and Customs in Chicago was cordial and quick and the flight to Houston was fast. But after arriving in Houston, I realized that UA had forgotten my bags in Chicago. They promised to deliver it the next day and so they did. Checked into hotel. Need to find apt soon.

ANYONE IN HOUSTON READING THIS . I LIVE IN GALLERIA . NEED APT. ASAP.

Hmm hope this works.

So well tomorrow going to office. See how that goes. And well a whole new life to begin in Houston.

I guess alls well that ends well so not that bad of a journey now was it? :)

Cheers,

A Comparison: AR Rahman's Nahin Samne vs Desree's Kissing You

2006-10-02T13:22:00.000-07:00

Note: I do not have a degree in Music or its history. All i know is that it helps me alot in everyday life and i change the the type of music i listen to the mood i am in or to the mood i want to be in, i.e. in the mornings i like to listen to summer of '69 everyday to pump me up or listen to a slow tamil song while abt to hit the beds ... So before reading the comparison, i do admit that at times my taste does suck but hey i dont mind living with it ...

Ok Now, Love these two songs. Why? Well because both are really well composed love/romantic songs and very much similar in certain ways. For one both songs pick up a little bit right before the end and fade away slowly with a certain "nice" feeling.

Of course Nahin Samne is in Hindi and Kissing You is in English, but language should not be a barrier when listening to music {Personal Opinion}. And I certainly dont understand Hindi but after reading the lyrics and its translations, was quite amazed.

Kissing You has the typical Western opera background to it - Great Voice, Alot of Piano and minimum words. Nahin Samne has the background of tabla, sitar and the great voice of Hariharan. Wouldnt say its the best classical Indian music but AR Rahman is a magician at bringing the Western and Eastern music worlds together.

I guess the movies also play a relevant part in these songs. Taal and Romeo & Juliet are both love stories - one's a great ender and the other is the greatest love tragerdy known to mankind. The lyrics are quite similar yet totally different - a paradox i am not quite eloquent or articulate enough to explain in words but human enough to understand when listening to both songs.

I guess the greatest thing about both these songs are that they are very soothing. Cant pick right now which one I would want to hear more, so going to add both to a play list and hear them again one after the other till i fall asleep. Guessing after round one or two i might be in dream land. :)

Anyways just thought i should write a post on these songs since i have been practically listening to them for the past few weeks on a continuous basis.

Cheers,

:)

Worse Pick Up Line

2006-10-02T13:18:00.000-07:00

Is that a Patch or shall i patch your life up?

-Thanesh

P.S. I was quite drunk and very much out of it.

Going to be a Week of Alcohol!!!

2006-09-30T06:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the opening ceremony of "Thanesh is leaving so lets party for his last week". Kicked off very well with a few beers and the Old Reserve Arrack at SSC. Headed over to ZanziBar where the night just got to another level. Many friends to say bye to and many people I dont want to see for another long time. Onex was ok later on but that atleast I had someone to dance with so it turned out pretty well. Was wasted by the time I had got home and cant remember exactly what that gal looks like but lets see whether I can meet her again before i leave. Forgot her name too. DAMNNN!!!!!

I will continue to update this site everyday for the next one week with full of blasting episodes of drunkardisms, one night isms, flirtisms and a whole other bunch of words that have not been yet added to the Oxford English Dictionary.

Hope you all get drunk too.

Cheers. :)

Water - A Powerful movie

2006-09-23T12:29:00.000-07:00

I guess it was about time I watched this movie and it was a pleasure indeed and great for my ever thinking/analyzing/dissescting brain. The killer line of course is "Gandhi is one of the few people in the world who listens to his conscience". Ok lets take Gandhi out of the picture here, but imagine listening to your consience all the time. Its pretty tough because sometimes and most of the time, the mind controls the conscience and, if you cant admit to this then, well i guess your mind is controlling your conscience right now. :)

I did my favorite task of googling after watching a good movie and was very startled by the problems the director Deepa Metha had to go through to get this movie into production and then release. I am a Hindu but far from religious, but a believer in God - just know that some call him Shiva, others call him Allah and some call him God. I guess all religions do have these old traditions that are "outdated" but still being followed - something like a legacy system using QBASIC language being operational - IMAGINE THAT!!!!

Good movie to watch and good provoking language.

Hope you enjoy and get your own opinions - Cheers :)

Back in Lanka - Any Blog Meetings???

2006-09-19T09:48:00.000-07:00

Any Sri Lankan bloggers meeting coming up????

Cheers

War or Peace in Sri Lanka????

2006-09-13T23:28:00.000-07:00

So seems like Sri Lanka could be running back into War. The possibilty of peace talks seems to be null or just some "aroma" in the air but nothing conclusive. The capture of the town of Sampur by the SL Army seems to have provoked a feeling of invincibility among the ruling elite of the goverment and negligence of the sophisticated nature of the LTTE army. I am neither a supporter of the LTTE or the SL Army so before anyone starts writing hate comments on my blog read more ....

What does this all mean?

It means we are back to an era of fear, no freedom and absolute chaos. The LTTE will be waiting to target SL forces and if possible take vengenace for the displacement and killing of Tamil civilians in its areas. The SL army is going to ride high on its optimism and victories just like anyone would do. Just seems too illogical to think any other way.

Whos going to get screwed?

Ah of course it will be innocent Tamil and Sinhala civilains living around the areas where war could be sparkling. Many young Tamil men are going to disappear and well I could also be on the list. Many young Sinhala men are going to die when some claymore attack goes off.

Who is not going to affect?

It will definetly not affect the rich and supporters of the ruling party. All the "big" men including the ones on the rebel side will remain big and live happily while blood is shed because of their policies.

What is going to happen to Sri Lanka?

War is going to continue and people will continue to die. A man from India told me once that Sri Lanka will always have war since that is where the King Ravana from Ramayana was born. I used to think he was an idiot but well seems very believable now.

Sad to think that all this "war" feeling is going to cause hatred and separation among Tamil and Sinhala brothers. A small conversation at a bar about the war could have ill feelings among good friends. Provocation and jokes could be taken the wrong way and most of all innocent people will be killed while the affulent party on as if nothing is happening in the island.

what a tragic state to a beautiful island????

Facial [A True Story]

2006-09-13T22:16:00.000-07:00

ok this happened out of the ordinary. No i did not plan it but circumstances and events that were about to follow were just too coincidental and thus one would assume otherwise.

I had a facial this Saturday. LOL. Yes I did. I went to a saloon called "Green Trends" near my Aunt's house in Chennai and asked for a haircut and a shave. The hair dresser obliged and after giving me a haircut, he started on the shaving part. As soon as he had the first go, he looked at me with bewilderment - "Sir, you beard is a bit rough. Do you shave twice?" I was confused - Shaved twice???? Me being the person I am inquired as to whether it was really rough and what I can do about it. The hair dresser sensing that this was a good sales oppurunity said that I should have a facial. Being rather amused but curious I said yes. Oh boy what a painful process just because it requires patience and I dont have a lot of that.

First they do some kind of face massage with some cream. Then they apply another cream and ask you to lay there for 20 minutes so that it dries off. Then they come and wipe that cream off and massage your face again. Then they apply something called a "patch" {I could be wrong} and this is supposed to be the main "thing". Again i have to lie there for 20-30 minutes. By this time I had lost all patience and kept asking the folks to hurry and finish the process off. The last part was a bit scary and hurtful. They take a needle and start pricking on your nose. And since I kept twiching the lady stopped. Trust me that thing fucking hurts!!! Then they wash your face and well you are good as new or atleast think that way :) .

So conclusion - That will be my first and last facial try out.

Excitement to Sick

2006-09-12T07:36:00.000-07:00

Oh boy how things change within the span of hours!!!! I was excited and running around on Saturday and Sunday morning because my uncle was getting married in Chennai and well weddings mean hot gals in saris and then all of a sudden as soon as the wedding was over - I got sick. Ah i hate being sick. That pisses me offff because well I guess i lose control of myself and my body and allow the virus and bacteria to take over. Anyways well atleast i am satisfied that the kurtha I was wearing on Sunday got some attention ... ;)

Ah Why I hate going to the Doctor????

2006-09-03T01:35:00.000-07:00

Oh boy, I have been frequently visiting doctors for the past week and pyschologically I think I am screwed. It all started with a back pain, and I have been having them for some time now and didnt think much of it, but now seems like its a bit complicated. According to the doctors and the xrays, I seem to be having rigidity in my back along with narrow spacing of my verterbra{or whatever that is} and this could affect the nerve that runs down my spine. Apparently now I need an MRI scan - wonder what that is but sounds all tooo complicated and weird. The funny thing is I seem to be having back pains more frequently than ever before and I think thats only because I am visiting these doctors - WAY TOO PYSCOLOGICAL BUT TRUE.

So what did i decide to do to combat this feeling? - hit a nice club, drank, partied all night and came back home

:)

The Fear of Failure

2006-08-18T08:37:00.000-07:00

Recently I have found another aspect of my life that I fear. I fear that idea of failure at work. No not failure in rejection, visa or something along those lines - but fear that I might fail at work. I am not sure whether this has anything to do with my large ego that doesnt seem to quite fit my head or the high standards I try to set myself {and keep failing :)}. I just feel that for example if i do not accomplish a task - well there is a good chance that someone is going to like pointing fingers at me. So my usual tactic has been to apologize and accept my failure to get the task done on time and then learn from it. I guess I am going to continue to do that even in the future because I think one has to be "man" {this is just a phrase and no i am not a sexist} enough to accept his/her mistakes. But i really fear that one day I am just going to be considered an absolute retard by someone whom I respect. So i guess the fear is really disappointing someone or some people. Hmmmm interesting. Writing this post has actually made me think about what i actually fear. i guess the conclusion is - I fear disappointing people I respect.

Hmmmm let me dwell on that with a smoke ...

A Shayari [Urdu Poem]

2006-08-16T01:24:00.000-07:00

Words could mean much more .....

Hamari nazan na lagjay tumko ye soch kar,
Hum tumke kam dekthe hai.

By Afzal Khan[a good friend from Andhra]

Silence[Fiction]

2006-08-11T01:30:00.000-07:00

We don't even talk anymore. The saying that silence is the biggest killer cannot be categorized as just another metaphor anymore. He couldn't say "Dont do it baby". Was he listening to Boys To Men too much these days? There is a slight possibility he was but I am sure he would not want to admit that. Why would he? He had no feelings, he just appreciated the game. I knew otherwise - I knew him too well and this was just more than a game for him. He could not look deep down and admit it. What is so hard about admitting something to someone? I have seen him being more frank and straight forward on other instances, but I guses this would let his "guard down". He looked gazinly over the room. There was no aroma, no perfumes and no he was not thinking about the scent of her hair. He was thinking of possibilities and where he had gone wrong. He was a huge believer in smiles and he knew she had smiled at him differently. I mean this guy is real pathetic right; I am not even sure why I am wasting my time writing such a story. Ah the paradox of personalities couldn't cause more confusion than this. Unless you knew this person, you would never imagine the thought processes that run through his head - a maze I remember clearly telling him when I saw it. He suddenly woke me up - Summer of 69 had come on his ipod. It was time to end this post.

A Sonnet Of Rarity

2006-08-08T04:49:00.000-07:00

You smile and I will laugh,
You feel depressed and I will try my best to console,
Piss me off and thou has found your worst enemy.
I am human - cunning, shrewd and stupidly brave.
For Friends, love and loyalty are all I have to give,
And if needed my life ....

The Irony Of Seduction [fiction]

2006-08-05T02:16:00.000-07:00

He lay still. He wasn't thinking and definetly no motion. Well you could hear the heart beat, so I suppose he was still alive. Crazed, mixed and complexed thoughts could never be defined as thinking for it was not in his conscious at all, but they were pouring through him. The fear of being alone was pulsating like he had never felt before. He woke up from him unconscious death with a sudden thrill and vengenance. Well that momentum died suddenly with him just like that loud techno music from his ipod. Vengenance could never be applied to this character and the thrill just faded with his sudden realization of being alone. He did not want to be here but that was a total lie. This is the only place he wanted to be but his cocky pride as usual was being a bureaucratic obstacle. Questions were raising after a long period of time in his head about his - future, life, ambitions but mostly her. A week ago, she was a different form, a different being. Confused, so was he. Imagine my confusion writing this part of the story. He laughed, knowing consciously he just had a crack at himself in his brain, and then continued typing this post. He had to admit something - this whole post is an irony of seduction.

I do not follow NORMS. I set Them. [changed title]

2006-08-03T21:42:00.000-07:00

Seems like everyday some part of us or well most part of us including our behavior follows some kind of norm and this definetly includes a repetitive task. From wearing business casual to work and of course the early morning coffee drink seems to be some normal examples of this. On the same note I was watching CNN-IBN the other day, where the program was show casing "InfoSys" and of course their top level management including Narayan Murthy was there to answer questions and make statements about the company, entrepreneurship and other topics. What really amazed me is that this concept of "norm" has crept into the questions we ask as well. Questions such as "Sir, I want to be an entrepreneur - What do you think I should do?" or something like "Sir, I want to do this sort of business - how do you think I should go about it?". These questions of course get the same replies - "Well you should apply yourself, work hard, have creative ideas and of course sacrifice". I doubt Mr.Murthy is going to sit down and explain to any youngster like me how I should do my business so whats the point in asking him. I respect him for he achieved something that is unique - worked very hard for it but the biggest factor is - he did it HIS WAY.

The other day I was having a chat with a mate and he was comparing me to another individual and made a statement that I was happy he made. He said "Thanesh I am not trying to be rude, but when you look at "so and so" - they seem to be more mature than you". WOW define maturity. The best norm of all. Am I immature? Well maybe in certain people's context and definition but definetly not in mine. I work hard, play hard, do things my way and if someone wants to label it as different or lets say "immature" -thats fine - I am doing things my way. This even applied to my recent "hair duo" when I came to Chennai. People either looked at it weirdly or had to say something about it. All this fine and understandable and I am not taking it in the wrong way for again - I am not following norms and usual conventions. Please don't confuse this with rules and regulations. I am firm believer in those for those are needed to mould a society so that tyranny doesnt take over. Well if you want to break those go ahead and be my guest. I havent started to think about breaking them but well that might be something in the future.

Cheers

P.S. define:norm A way of behaving or believing that is normal for a group or culture. {Courtesy of Google}

Subahaan Allah

2006-07-25T19:53:00.000-07:00

God be Praised Indeed. Have been eager to watch the movie Fanaa for a long time and yesterday I had some free time to do so. Wanted to watch it for three reasons - one, I am a big fan of Aamir Khan, two - big time sucker of cheesy love dialogues and three - the love of my life Kajol. It is quite a pleasure for my sour eyes to see that beautiful lady roam on my TV screen. I saw Kajol in the Tamil Movie Minsara Kanavu [Sapnay in Hindi] for the first time and was just taken back by her "simple" beauty and from that day forwards have watched all her movies starting with Baazigar to her last one - a small tiny appearance in Kal Ho Na Ho. She is truly the creation of Lord Brahma, that must have given him immense pleasure and taken him quite a long time to process. Ah that lucky bastard Ajay Devgan - if only she would divorce him and I am lucky enough to converse with her. Wow hold on a second now - where has this celebrity love taken me? Statistically the chances of me dying because of a tsunami are higher than me meeting Kajol.

Anyways so the bigger picture for me to watch out for is whether all women from West Bengal are as beautiful as Kajol. My company does have a branch out there and must certainly call up those fine management folks and see whether there is any chance I could "work" in that region for a small period of time. It might be interesting to actually "get to know" a woman from that Northern Region of India - although not in total contrast to my culture; it is quite different from mine - and that would certainly make the "get to know" process interesting. :)

Screw the world when we have Unawatuna

2006-07-23T08:09:00.000-07:00

Oh boy, just when I was in a state of confusion - whether I love my island or not - my boys take me to Unawatuna. DAMNNNN i love my island!! Where elellse can you get beautiful clear beaches, lovely sands, alot of arrack to drink, beautiful women in bikinis strolling on the beach, coconut and palm trees dancing to the breeze, and oh yes all for a very very cheap price {thats the best part}. The bungalow we stay at was literally 5 metres away from the water, and well thankfully it was well guarded in the nights. Ah yes there was one sad encounter. We tried to go to this disco and one of the hosts or lets say "beach boy" said that since we are locals we should pay a cover charge. LOL..... Yeap the foreigners were getting in for free. The reason being they didnt want locals as they will start fights. Yeap i guess thats ok in a way from a philosophical point of view since we have a damn civil war going on and that was started by "locals". Anyways these beach boys rule that part of Sri Lanka, so much so that we needed permission from them to talk to white women at the party. One of my friends tried to fake an English accent and approach the ladies with his usual "Hello Ladies" but was abruptly stopped by a beach boy who ensured him that talking to a white women might create "problems". Well other than that it was wayyyyy to enjoyable. Food was great - Cause we cooked ...LOL . Alcohol was was not a scarce resource but cigarattes were after a period of time. I just cant get over that breeeze....

Fuck when you have cool air coming in from the beach and you are on a hammock and you can say "Fuck Off" to the world and your problems and the only thing you are worried about is when you are going to get high again - What more can you ask for right????

A Hypnotized Mind

2006-07-23T07:42:00.000-07:00

I hear the blue beautiful seas splashing,
as the whistle of the waves hisses by.
I see the sun bow down with a curtain call,
An immunization for even the sane.
I touch the glittering sand, and play with them,
in my fingers like my long lost gems.
I breath the aromas air in all its sweetness,
thanking heaven for the fresh wave of energy in my veins.
I taste the feeling around me,
one that signifies the tranquiltiy of my environment.
I realize all this beauty in vain,
as only moments and memories are in my mind.

What happened to those Baila Sessions!!!

2006-07-16T06:57:00.000-07:00

Surangani ...Surangani ...Surangani te malu genava ...

Those were the days when baila used to be a "hip hop" thing among the many people I would see when I go out in the nights in Sri Lanka. Bars, clubs and pubs didnt mind playing one or two baila songs to get the "Lankan boys" in the mood. These days the concept of "baila" seems to be dying. I remember at ASU when I attended a football game against Washington State {yeap those idiots got their ass wacked that night but go SUN DEVILS}, we went with a large Sri Lankan crowd and boy did we rock the show that day. We sang - the crowd next to us sang and the next day a couple of people came and asked me the lyrics in school. Now you know we rocked!!! We used to sing baila songs when we were at clubs, parties or any place that included some booze and some women. Yes women is a very essential but not necessary flavor to baila singing.
I mentioned it to a couple of friends the other day that we should put a baila night -hmmm response was not that favorable. People want to be very "hip hoppish" here in Sri Lanka now and the nightlife is catering to it. There is no Sri Lankan flavor at all and boy are we getting Westernized slowly but surely. This is totally in contrast with Sri Lankans I know living in Arizona or Texas. They love a good baila night. Anyways the point is I really miss the baila nights and next time I go out I have decided to sing the great song "Mahaweli Ganga" and of course the classical "Mr.Murphy". Its vulgar all right and I am sure its a bit offensive but then again all the rap songs have more vulgarity and violence and I aint complaining. A big fan of 50 paisa - sorry 50 cent. Here are a few of the lyrics - sing along ...and please make sure your kids dont read this till they turn 18 {doubt thats going to work :)}.

Mr.Murphy

Good Morning Mr.Murphy with all my heart and soul,
I came to **** your daughter but I couldnt find the ****.

{The rapthara rapthara rapthara rapthara rapthara}

When I found the ****, hidden in her frock,
Damn Mr.Murphy I couldnt find my ***

{The rapthara rapthara rapthara rapthara rapthara}

When i find my ***, I thought it was a sin,
Damn Mr.Murphy I couldnt put it in.

{The rapthara rapthara rapthara rapthara rapthara}

When I put it in, I wiggled it about,
Damn Mr.Murphy I couldnt pull it out.

{The rapthara rapthara rapthara rapthara rapthara}

When I pulled it out,
She began to shout,
Damn Mr.Murphy I put it in her mouth

{The rapthara rapthara rapthara rapthara rapthara}

NOW U ADD UR OWN CRAP - This is mine

I went to ASU, and sat upon a wall,
All the gals from ASU, came to suck my *****.

{The rapthara rapthara rapthara rapthara rapthara}

I went to ASU and sat upon a rock,
All the gals from ASU, came to suck my ***.

{The rapthara rapthara rapthara rapthara rapthara}
{For the Indians}

Vasco Da Gama went to India,
pulled Down his Pyjamas
And showed his BANANA.

P.S. Dont judge me by the song. This song while we sang it had some good memories ...

Random Acts of Kindess

2006-07-12T12:51:00.000-07:00

This is an article I found on William Tay's blog. You can click the title to go to the site/weblog.

I guess most of you must be experiencing a period of retrospection after the violence in Sri Lanka, bomb blasts in Mumbai and basically violence around the world . Well maybe reaching out in a different way to society could be a thought. This article is different and interesting. I will just pass the link onto you now in this post as well.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2003118972_kindness11m.html

So next time you see me – don’t get me a latte but maybe when you see that kid working at your ‘convenient’ grocery store - maybe you can ask the employer to let him/her go free :)

BTW, a friend stated that random acts of kindness are much easier and exhibitable to strangers rather than friends or someone we know. Interesting point. He gave me an example stating a one night stand relationship would be easier with a stranger than a friend - and thats definetly random and true. I think I am going to write a good fiction on this. :) Keep Reading!!!

Remember

2006-07-12T12:41:00.000-07:00

As news spreads that 147 people have been killed in the Mumbai Blasts, and fighting erupts between Israel and its neighboring Arab states, I begin to think of the sad fate of this world. Murder, Death, Killing and Violence seem to be the order of the day and consquences being the loss of innocent lives. How many lives are lost in wars every day, I dont know, but I know its a number that we can do without. In Sri Lanka, newpapers and news sites publish articles about individuals dying in either claymore attacks, directing fighting at the Forward Defence Lines or artillery bombings. It is becoming more of a everyday routine rather than an exception. It should really be an exception.

A friend said he has become callous by the news that he has to hear, read and see everyday. I think I am too, but what a horrible feeling. I want to become human again. These people who die need to be remembered. It is a life. Nothing can be more pure than that. I hope we wake up everyday and remember that we are so lucky to be alive today. Imagine if you were had got caught in that bus attack, or that village bombings in Pelasai, or the artillery attacks in Shiomi, or even took a train ride home from Borvilli to Mira Road. Yes we are lucky to be alive and breathing but we must remember these people who we have lost. So I guess what I will try to do is wake up every morning and pray - pray that I am alive, my family, friends and relatives are doing well but also remember the people who have died. Remembrance is the only way to be honestly appreicative of this God given gift for otherwise as humans we will forget - for God gives and forgives, Man gets and forgets.

Urgent Reply Needed by a Sri Lankan

2006-07-10T07:58:00.000-07:00

Ok I heard from a friend that according to the constitution of Sri Lanka, a Sri Lankan Tamil or any other non-Buddhist for that matter will NOT be able to run for Office of the President. After reading Chapter 7 of the Constitution of my country, I am baffled because I did not find such wordings. {I should read slower the second time round.} Google did not help as well so I am asking any of you folks out there to post a comment or a link stating whether this is true or not. A link would be ideal. Since I am really not sure what is going on in the island at times ,{Is there a party called UNP after all the crossovers? What happened to the peace process ? JVP used to kill a lot of people right and now they are Members of Parliment???????? - the latter really makes me chuckle, especially when i hear the JVP pointing fingers at LTTE} it would be nice to hear from one of you folks.

Cheers

ZZZZZ ........ Zidaneeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

2006-07-10T01:09:00.000-07:00

What Excitement, What drama, What a feeling or damn what destiny and fate? Ok for those of you "smart" people, I am not talking about the drama revolving around the cross over of UNP parlimentarians over to the UPFA goverment in the island but the football world cup final that got over yesterday {Americans - football meaning soccer. They whole world has one definition for that word and Americans had to change it. Anyways I love you Eagles, especially the blonde ones from the female race}. ZZZZZ ...Zidane - oh did he have to go out that way? When I saw this player for the first time in the World Cup of 98, most and myself knew that he was going to be the story of this generation. 2 goals in the final against Brazil had already cemented his place in football history and later by the many instances of magic and the genius touch. What still gives me goose bumps is his late goals against England in Euro 2004 {England is my favorite team - sad to see them leave the 2006 cup early but what to do? Life no}. 91+ and 93+ were the time on the official clocks during that game. {I could be wrong here but I think i am close. Google it please}. I guess people are now going to remember Zidane by this one instance but hard core French and Real Madrid fans will always remember him as a GREAT. That headbutt for which he recieved the red card I guess made him human again. He was just too great a soccer player, never in any drama related issues on the media, quiet chap - and you were wondering whether the other players in the opposition were giving him too much respect. He never seems raffled, even when he looked pretty hurt with the shoulder injury during the start of the final and also his long standing injuries from club football. Marco Materazzi should be given the Golden Brain award for having provoked Zidane. Its very obvious if you have been following football that some players are good at acting hurt, others get annoyed very easily and some just do stupid stuff all the time. But ZZ has be known for his calm calculated magic and to provoke him- well Marco has a good chance of joining a political party in Italy after his football career.

So the Football World Cup is over. England lost on penalties. Italy won the Final{hmmm that Australia team I really feel sorry for} and ZZ got a red card. The English Premiership is coming up and I have decided to follow it thoroughly this year. Not sure which team to support. Any suggestions???

Oh yes - My friends and I got a bit intoxicated watching the game. That was alot of fun and the verbal assault on each other was intriguing. Some of the foreigners looked at us puzzled but we didnt care. When in Sri Lanka act and behave like a Sri Lankan - drink, drink, drink some more, wink at that good looking German chick, put a small shot again, drink some more, meet and say hi to the people you just said hi to 5 minutes ago {its a small island}, drink some more - and then the next day - put a good chat over how we got drunk the previous day and make plans for today.

Four Types Of Women

2006-07-09T08:19:00.000-07:00

Note: This is an extended version of a dialgoue from a Tamil movie - Padayappa

Kind One - The "lusted women" - When you look at women in this category the only feeling bulging through your veins is that of lust. Well dont be stupid and rip your shirts off like the Hulk if you are at work. Be calm and well deal with it when you get home.

Kind Two - The "fearsome women" - These women well you basically want to avoid them. They are very aggressive and dont mind having an argument. Personally I dont mind them being on my side on a client call.

Kind Three - The "respected women" - These women when you meet them you feel like wrapping both your arms and worshipping them. Ideal wives, especially if you are the conservative type because you will respect them as much as you respect your mother.

Kind Four - The "TK" kind - Havent met the TK kind yet. When i do, and then get married I will update this post.

:)

Cheers

p.s. TK stands for Thanesh Kumar, a commonly used nickname to "address" me in Sri Lanka. I have others but those are for another day ..

Google - An Offical Verb

2006-07-09T02:07:00.000-07:00

Check this article out. Google has been named an official verb in one of those British or American dictionaries. Haha, Mahinda Chintana already googled and made that the offical word of Sri Lanka!!! {ok that was a pathetic joke so here is the link}

http://news.zdnet.co.uk/0,39020330,39278336,00.htm

Cheers

Breaking News - War Ridden Countries Ready For Business!!!

2006-07-09T01:44:00.000-07:00

Guess what the new buzz around the globe is {guessing this has been going on for some time but my tubelight of a head just realized it yesterday during a conversation with some friends and of course that movie helped - "Lord of Wars"} - to do or start business in war ridden countries. Just about everyone wants a piece of the pie in countries like Iraq{obviously country has more oil, than India has good drinking water - just kidding Indians but I really dont mind an argument with one of you - crap you guys are quite a lot eh - 1 BILLION - okay on second thoughts nevermind} , Sudan, Eastern Europe, Pakistan{hmmm this could be false}, oh yes most African countries, and wola - Sri Lanka. Yes my dear loving country also seems to be an ideal place for businessmen if you are in the right business - arms, steel, food, {killing people, oops sorry}, politics, {murdering people, oops sorry again}, and tourism {very specifically Eurpean child molesters }. Arms is an excellent business and those of you who have seen the movie "Lord of Wars" - you know what I am talking about. That "middleman" concept really plays well in such an industry. Get online. See who wants to sell an AK-47, then check who wants to buy it. Email both parties. And you get a commission. Of course I just made this simple because people have already watched the movie but thats the skeleton of the business plan.

Steel and Food seem to be making some big headlines. Steel thanxxxx to Mr.Lakshi Mittal. Damn that guy wants to buy everything. Hope he gives some money away like Buffet Boy. Anyways seems like the African countries have a lot of raw materials like copper etc to make alloys like steel{I am guessing steel is an alloy. Let me google it but not going to change this statement} for construction purposes. Food -oh yes - did you know that war ridden countries do not make sufficient food to feed themselves? My God. Aney I wish I knew that before. So a good business plan would be to sell food to these countries, hook up with the Goverment and you know you are going to get paid because NGOs and Western Countries are going to keep these countries down economically by bribing politicans, supplying weapons and of course causing problems a.k.a wars. Did you know that charity itself is a big player in keeping such countries economically "screwed" ? {yes its a fact and i can prove it but i am not going to write a 100 page essay now. please google it yourself} Why would you want to work when you know tomorrow's bread and butter are coming through the UN? If those countries really wanted to help, i.e. America - then it would make the agricultural industry a true playing levelled field {take off its subsidies} and give oppurunties to countries in Africa Asia etc to get into their markets or other developed markets. Anyways I could be wrong here so someone please brighten me. The point is food is a good business - especially the importing part - in a war ridden zone.

So now that I have brightened your minds and you are all thinking of starting your own business, I would like to get a cut/commission. After all I am the one who put this idea into your head. Yes dammit you are reading my post - its my blog. Anyways you can contact me by email so that we can sort that cheque issue out. Well hope your business does well!!! :)

To Bribe or Not to Bribe - That is the Question

2006-07-07T07:11:00.000-07:00

Ever wondered, if you are living in the subcontinent, whether the right path or choice according to laws set by the goverment should be followed? I am wondering now. By default, we have been asked by our elders, teachers, parents and anyone who apparently thinks he/she is right including those damn textbooks to follow rules and regulations. They somehow seem to forget to tell us and of course we during our period as "elders" will conveniently forget to tell the youngsters that rules and regulations have loopholes which are meant to be used - if you have the right kind of power, clout or money. The levels of these loopholes, how they are accessed and by whom vary depending on your social presitege a.k.a social status and which country you reside in. For example, a rickshaw driver would utilize the loophole of "gifting" {some people are stupid to think that these are bribes} items to police constables on the road whenever he {i havent seen a she rickshaw driver - no i am not a male chauvinist or sexist or any other term that exists in the Oxford English Dictionary that targets me in a negative way for such a simple statement} is caught for doing something that "goes against" the rules and regulations set by the goverment {Illegal is a word used commonly when someone is caught for doing something that "goes against" the rules and regulations set by the goverment}. These items can vary from certain hundred rupees to favors. A High level politican or successful businessman would use a loophole at a different or higher level. He/She would basically "gift" variety of items to senior officers, counterparts and other businessmen to invite tenders, business propositions and favors. The rules and regulations set by the goverment would request these fine citizens to require forms, undergeo processes and of course gauge up the time {somehow the processes take a long time in developed countries still even though this new concept of Outsourcing has caught up with them big time}, but considering the fact that the loophole gets things done faster, easier and more efficient - why not just use it?

I have been having the time of my life getting a visa {of any kind right now} to visit a certain country {not naming it just in case for my bad luck i get screwed}. My company Human Resource Managers called the embassy, requested them for details, receieved it, processed it and then handed me those forms. I of course thinking that the process is simple, went to the embassy only to see it be rejected without hesitation and of course no reason. Amused, Bewildered and Totally Confused are understatements. One officer made a sarcastic comment - "Why would we want to hire a Sri Lankan?". I gave him a meek smile, satisfied that at least I was not working in the hot and humid room like he was. Round Two - and this time I was better prepared and asking for less. Got a loophole{not mentioning it for obvious reasons}. Something had apparently gone wrong in the loophole{maybe the "gift" was not large enough} and I was rejected again and was consoled by a werid and traditional statement - "According to the horoscope - yesterday was a bad day for you and you shouldnt have applied". The "gift-taker" made this statement to my bemusement.

People seem to get very far when they don't follow the rules, the regulations or the "correct" paths. From Bill Gates to the recently elected mayor in the capital of a small island off the Indian Ocean have not followed these rules for success to garland them. Then why should any other individual be asked to do so? I hope whoever reads this blog comments on atleast one person who during their lifetime and path to success and glory had not committed a single act that would violate a rule or regulation. Somewhere somone had given a "gift", accepted one or had facilitated the transaction of one. So there is no question -"To Bribe or not to Bribe?" - if the answer you seek is the heading "Transaction Completed Successfully" because the best, easiest and efficient way to get it is to bribe and thus violate the rules and regulations, that you teach or will teach your children to follow.

A Second Class Citizen

2006-07-03T08:18:00.000-07:00

On June 30th 2006, the Goverment of Sri Lankan re-introduced the procedures to register Tamils in the island for security purposes.The following link details the exact requirements of the procedure in vague terms of course.

http://www.tamilnet.com/art.html?catid=13&artid=18673

I am and have always been a proud Sri Lankan Tamil. Always been patriotic about my country, about its diversified ethnicities and most importantly our culture. Yet such practices introduced by the government makes me think twice about my patriotism. I understand that there have been security violations by the LTTE but then again the GOSL also has targeted many innocent Tamils living in the North and in recent times have bombed churches and tsunami refugee camps. Would it be applicable or even remotely implementable if the Sinhalese residing in the North and East were asked to register with the police? Of Course Not. Does patriotism really matter in the island if exhibited by a Tamil? I think not. Most people are going to think that the Tamil is a kotiya {Tiger in Sinhalese} and wants Eelam. Some don’t even read history to understand the suffering the Tamil people had gone through after gaining independence. The height of ignorance was unbearable when an educated Sinhala friend of mine said that the Tamils landed in this country after the 1950s. If only he had paid attention in history class would he have realized that the Tamil kingdoms started with the legend of Ramayana ending with the Chola dynasty {of course the Chola dynasty was beaten because the Kandyan Sinhala king decided to ally with the Portuguese}.

Tamils and Sinhalese in the island have been having a "go" at each other since the time settlers came from West Bengal, Kerala and Tamil Nadu. Most of the Bengalis and Keralites turned into Sinhala Buddhists whilst the Tamils practiced Hinduism. The Kandyan Kingdom of the Sinhalese in the Central part of the island and the Tamil kingdom of the North have always been the strongest rivals with some minor shake-ups caused by the Kingdoms from the south such as Galle. After the arrival of the British, things seemed to get back on track from both parties as they had a common enemy. The Tamil and Sinhala leaders wanted to get rid of the British and thus were fighting for the same cause - Wish they British were still in town sometimes :). The Tamil leader GG Ponnambalam was the first person to argue in British Parliament to enable Vesak {celebrate Buddha's birthday} to be regarded as a national holiday in Sri Lanka {doubt many Sinhalese know this fact}. Other Tamil leaders fought bravely for the independence of my homeland and when asked by the British whether they wanted a separate country -they refused, thinking the conciliation with the Sinhalese would be ideal for both parties and the betterment of the country. After independence things started to roll down as far as harmony between the two ethnicities were concerned. The SLFP which came to power in 1970 decided that English should not be the main language in schools and universities and decided to segregate the medium of study into Sinhalese and Tamil { Had they taken a leaf out of India’s education system we would have been much better off now}. Then came the shocker of all shockers – You have probably heard that affirmative action is applied to allow for minorities to get admission to schools because of past discrimination etc. In Sri Lanka, the minority Tamils were asked to get higher grades than the majority Sinhalese to enter universities. This led to hiring fewer Tamils into government related jobs thus creating a suspicious and ticking environment. Explosion. The LTTE was born – the result of continuous oppression of the Tamil people. Fueled by the 1983 ethnic riots when Sinhalese butchered many Tamils to death, the organization grew in numbers to be the deadly force they are today.

The LTTE were amicably supported by the Indian government and to this day still have a lot of clout in Tamil Nadu politics and within politicians. Rarely do they seem disturbed when a Western nation says something against them but react with caution when India is involved. The relationship turned sour when Rajiv Gandhi was assassinated with the help or involvement of the LTTE. Gandhi had earlier sent the Indian Peace Keeping Force to act as the mediators but soon turned them around to fight the Tigers. The IPKF had left behind stories of atrocities when they departed the nation wounded and humiliated by a small guerilla force. They had raped women, killed innocent students and murdered POWs without hesitation and help of the SL Army {If you are an Indian and reading this and want to argue, please send me your yahoo id and we can have the best argument of your life!!!}. This was followed by Rajiv’s death and then the assassination of the president of Sri Lanka who had apparently cracked a secret deal {then of course gone wrong so his death} with the LTTE.

Many incidents have followed, wars waged, destruction amounted, money spent and of course innocent lives wasted. The Cease Fire Agreement signed in 2002 gave a glimmer of hope fueled by the tragedy of the tsunami {Yeah you do need a tragedy or catastrophe sometimes to bring people together. They say a sport does the trick but did you watch the Italy-Germany game?}. Currently things have got to a stage where there seems to be an “unofficial” war. Both parties refuse to accept each other’s presence and both do not want to admit their mistakes. Angered by the continuous support of the breakaway faction of the LTTE by the SL Army, the lives of innocents seem to be at risk. War looks imminent but when seems to be the billion dollar question? The million dollar question is of course what the catalyst is, for it to start.

In the end it will be innocent and poor Sinhalese and Tamils who will lose their lives. You want see the rich Sinhalese kid fighting the war, nor will you see the son/daughter of the war hungry politican at the Front Lines. Tamils who have had acquired some decent amount of wealth will always be able to avoid discrimination and if necessary leave the country. Its the ones caught in the middle of nowhere in the North Easter province who are going to be at risk.

So, because of the situation in this country, Tamils have been asked to register and identify themselves. Where are those human right and civil liberty groups when you need them? This is really funny because another article from many Sri Lankan websites stated that a Sri Lankan army official had been arrested for giving the LTTE information. The report also suggested that the officer had named 26 other members of the armed forces from his own battalion. So why not ask the Sinhalese to register as well? As long as the GOSL aims at discriminating the Tamils, the Tamil people will always dream about their own homeland. For some odd reason, although born a Tamil, I have lived with the Sinhalese and Muslims and thus I want to remain a Sri Lankan – but then again my identification card says Tamil and so I automatically become a Second Class Citizen.

"Work?"

2006-07-02T07:47:00.000-07:00

My mentor/friend asked me the other day,"Thanesh when do you work?". For a moment or second I was confused. Well I am always confused about myself but now I was actually thinking "Do i do any work?". I started to question,"What is work?". This led to a series of questions aimed at my mentor/friend over IM. He of course busy with work and realizing that he had just triggered my head's motor wanted to calm it by saying, "I am just pulling your leg". Me on the other hand had already ventured into the avenue of analyzing, dissecting and reassembling that question. I was questioning my work, my accomplisments and most of all my work ethics. {BTW i am very proud of the "little" i do and have accomplished so far, but just like Rooney I am going to get better - that is a fact - but to even question these aspects is a big step for me}.

I have a prejudiced view that all managers, team leaders and other top management level folks look at a person's ability by the quantity of work they do - the hours the set at work, whether they are sitting on that chair for 8 hours in a row and of course do they get the task done and whether its on time. I guess the last two factors are the decisive ones to make up a person's mind. I dont think I can quiet fit into this categorization. First of all I am unpredictable at how long I can sit on a chair for - usually not more than half an hour. Do i get my task done on time - records show that I havent {please bear in mind that these tasks I do usually recieve -well for some odd reason, no one has done them before - so before you start comparing me - I am admitting my faults. I also like to add that some tasks well were really "challenging"} and also do i get the work done - Yes, I have and I can say that proudly{again took alot of time in certain tasks so that doesnt make my feats that great}.

So do i do any work? Hmmmm - well if you go by "MY" prejudiced view - I guess its a big NO NO. Then I came across an instance that made me feel that I did have something in me and i do work but just not in the typical way. When I started working in Chennai, I came across one of the most accomplished, intelligent, educated yet enlightened, eloquent, black & white character. His name will not be mentioned for obvious privacy reasons. My initial opinion of his attitude towards me was -"This kid doesnt know jack from jill", and thought to myself that he doesnt like me. He would include me in discussions but I felt that I will not be able to impress him. Slowly but surely as days went by, I was taken back by his work ethics {yes he had all that characterisitcs of an excellent worker - inlcuding sitting on the chair for straight 8 hours, excluding lunch} and most importantly by his soft charisma. He wasnt the the guy who would go talk to people or chat around but you wanted to get his attention because he had the "brains". He would make random statements such as "Thanesh I dont want to talk to you because I have a lot on my plate and dont want to get confused", and go to the extent of not looking at my work. Of course he had too much on his plate to look at my work but i was taking all these actions personally. So i decided to sit next to him and that is when I guess a small insignificant relationship started {significant from my point of view but insignifcant from his - guessing here}. Chatting to him was like going through a maze and trying to figure out the terabytes of information he was pouring out. It all started with "User Transactions" and I was getting excited at work. But I still needed that validity -that confirmation from him that I was not just some other developer or consultant. He gave me more responsbilities and more tasks and I was getting involved in his tasks and helping him out. It was an exchange of ideas, thoughts and more importantly it was the ability to tick the other individual's mind. That was all the validation I needed. Of course, I did get some positive verbal feedback but I didnt really need it. I knew and still know he respects me and he has my utmost. And we did accomplish a certain level of "work" during that period. We initiated a relationship with an individual from a certain company that would help our process and tasks to be completed on time{it has come in handy in more than one instance}. We exchanged ideas and suggestions that would help the team and overall product in the future. We definetly created a more friendly team environment during that two week tenure. Its just that I didnt check in the damn jsp and java classes.

So what work do i really do? If the lifecycle of a product was linear from step 1 to step 30, i definetly dont fit in the teens. In the perspect of the software industry this would mean the actual coders - the ones who write the jsp and java classes. Do i fit into the early numbers? The creators, the brainstormers, the initiators. Maybe. Do i fit into the twenties - the final product and marketing? Could be. The problem is I am put into a situation where I need to be in the teens and thus the performance and calibre factors are going to be defined by the jsp and java classes that I write. Can i do it? Of course.

To top of my confusion, let me illustrate the following example that took place a couple of weeks ago. I was asked to define a content model for a certain application. The defining factor in creating this model was the ability to allow it to be re-registered during runtime. And the technology to be used was open source and new - thus no documentation. I did it and I doubt anyone in my team would have thought about it in the way I did. I created the method - very few lines - not more than 20 -but that 20 lines were important; and handed into other team members and leader. They of course changed it here and there and made it picture perfect so that it fit into the applcation without any issues. And of course they checked in the code.

So did i do any work?

Interesting Article

2006-07-01T22:00:00.000-07:00

This is an interesting article on Warren Buffet’s big “giveaway”.

http://www.indianexpress.com/story/7447.html.

I guess the thinking after reading this article is basically if you are a capitalist then you must have a comparative analysis of your income against your social/charitable expense, thus inducing the lifecycle of “social”-capitalism into play. {As we are all philanthropists in some manner or form, we would want to add the “social” word before “capitalist”.}This percentage according to the bible has been set at 10% but I am sure we all have our own equations to come up with a number.

Just a thought.

Retrospection Period

2006-07-01T21:17:00.000-07:00

The last week, begining on June 23rd and ending on July 1st, has been a rolla-coaster ride of emotions. A sin cos graph. There has been highs, lows, the averages and a whole lot of thinking. Friday{June 23rd} started with a bang. Went out - met a whole lot of friends{ I am back in Sri Lanka after nearly 5 years}, got piss drunk, met some wonderful young ladies and was just amazed at how the nightlife had changed here. Saturday was the average day - Nothing happened. Sunday was probably one of the most painful days of my life - My grandmother {father's mother} passed away. I have not had anyone as close as her pass away before, and this was the first time that I was going to become actively involved in a funeral. Seeing my parents cry, along with my aunts, grandfather was a sight I wish I had truly missed and longed to get a plane ticket to get away from this island. Later I realized that this was something that I needed to go through. I am used to sad times but ones where I can become aggressive to counter-attack those sad/bad times. This was a time where I couldn't counter attack- I had to grieve and make myself human again. Watching the England-Sweden game on Sunday was the least of my worries.

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday - marked the ceremonies to celebrate my grandmother's life. As someone put it, I hope my father had no regrets. Seems like people only think about regrets after a person passes away. I have made it a point to ensure that I do not wait till the last minute. My change in personality and especially my attitude towards my parents have become that more different - more personal, more loving, more caring. I hope it keeps going. My parents are my backbone and thus get the brunt of my annoyance and irritation. The three days also marked some reunions which, well could have happened at a more happier event. I met most of my uncles and aunts who had come from Canada, Australia and England to attend the funeral. I was also surprised by the visit of my sister and her husband from England. I had not seen her for nearly 4 years and though surprised and delighted to see her at first, now I hope she goes back soon so that I can get my room back. We had to shift houses because of my father's bankruptcy in late 2003 and thus the number of rooms, especially with A/C {and you do need this in the sub continent} has got smaller.

Thursday and Friday were usual days with a lot of "hanging out" with my cousins, aunts, uncles, parents, and sister. Talking about this gossip and that gossip, just like an average Sri Lankan would do, made me realize that well even tragerdies do have some kind of happiness. The main intruding topic was of course my grandmother's life. People would go silent when my grandfather walked in but he would sometimes initiate it as well. Seems like the other hot topic these days is," When is Thanesh getting married?". Me being confused with my status of employment{As my sister put it yesterday - US employee, working for Chennai,India from an undisclosed location in Colombo, Sri Lanka - oh yes and no PAY!!!} - I think i can just go ahead and keep the marriage period postponed for some time. Rubbed into my sister, that she was getting fatter and of course the wagon party backed me up as my sister's annoyance grew from sitting down looking dazed to beating the crap out of me. This had always been a symbolic gesture on our parts to show that we cared for each other - I annoy her and she beats me up.

Saturday was the last day of ceremonies for my grandmother's soul to rest in peace. We had a pooja and they cooked a variety of dishes at my grandfather's house. It varried from the classical dahl, brinjal, carrot curries - to delicious salads, potatoes and curds. Apparently this last day could be marked with some non-vegeatarian curries as well {I was very surprised by this fact but not the least bit disappointed by the food}. Crab, Cuttle Fish, Chicken, Fried Fish, Fried Prawns and Fried Chicken were the ONLY SIX varities on display and I tried them all. My brother in law and I had got attached{the previous day we both got sloushed on beers at home and my mother was kind enough to cook us sausages and chicken as bites while we were drinking - Yes I do have a lovely caring mother :) }, and he wanted to have a cigaratte after such a lovely meal. This led to a serious of "friendly and loving" confrontations between my sister and her husband. It was a weird feeling for my sister had become a mature girl now and I still treat her like a brat. {I had missed her wedding because I was on OPT in the USA workin with AMD for my company. Yes sad but this was a family decision}. The night was topped off with my brother in law and I going off to a pub to watch the England-Portugal Game. While Sri Lanka had beaten the crap out the English cricketers, I thought my favorite football team would fare better. Yes they lost again on penalties.

So, its been a fairly complex week. A week where retrospection seems to be the theme and will continue be for the next 2 weeks or so among my family members and especially I. I have realized one thing though from all this - Putting a child or son to rest in peace is the hardest and saddest feeling of all feelings, so when you do, I hope you have fullfilled all your duties as father or son, mother or daughter, for it will be last time you will ever see that smiling face again. I am going to try my level best, not just with my parents but with everyone I care about.

"I am a Wannabe???"

2006-06-29T21:09:00.000-07:00

This is a description of the Great Prophet Mohammed that I wish to follow. I seem to lack most of it but am working on them.

-His Qualities

"A great theorist is seldom a great leader. An Agitator is more likely to posses these qualities. He will always be a great leader. For leadership means ability to move masses of men. The talents to produce ideas has nothing in common with capacity for leadership. But, The Union of theorists,organizer and leader in one man, is the rarest phenomenon on this earth; Therein consists greatness."

-A Excellent Description

"Head of the state as well as the Church, he was Caesar and Pope in one; but, he was pope without the pope's claims, and Caesar without the legions of Caesar, without an standing army, without a bodyguard, without a palace, without a fixed revenue. If ever any man had the right to say that he ruled by a right divine It was Mohammad, for he had all the power without instruments and without its support. He cared not for dressing of power. The simplicity of his private life was in keeping with his public life."

I hope I am not being rude by describing the Prophet. If I violated any Islamic code, please comment and I will remove this post.

"Designation????"

2006-06-23T07:06:00.000-07:00

So as my career progresses, I question myself about the longevity of my role in the BPO industry. By no way am I technically "smarter" compared to some of the others in my field. If you compare me to an individual in the company that I work for, I would definetly be lagging behind by miles. That does not mean I am not technically "smart" {yes, I did use the word "smarter" in the last sentence for a purpose}, for these individuals have had a head start - their experience in terms of years in the technical world is greater than mine. If the world was an ideal place to live in and we all started at the same line - I have no doubts in my ability and fierce competitive nature to leave the others lagging behind. Well then again, I do not live in such an ideal world so I will have to look at other ways to cover up for my lack of technical experience.

Been thinking about jumping to the business analysis side of things. Seems like its an area where ideas blossom, whereas the technical side seems like the area oriented more towards producing solutions. It also an area where there is a lot more interaction between individuals through brainstorming sessions and presentation meetings,etc. Business Analysts - and if you look at them very carefully, are and should be excellent communicators and some of them are quite witty infact.

The technical folks are the problem solvers. The backbone of any BPO company. You do not see the young java developer in any company being the limelight, but he/she did do their part in creating the product that the company depends on so much. Most of them seem to lack the marketing skills that the business analysts seem to have, and of course the BAs lack the technical and mathematical brains. This is of course my general sterotypical perception and I can be wrong but I think the majority fit into my descriptions. And yes I am entitled to my opinion. :)

So question is what am I? I know my vision so basically i know the end but just getting a bit confused on the means. I can be technical for I have the largest ego on this planet when it comes to my brains and my ability to grasp things quickly. I can be a great business analyst for I want to think outside of the norm, make my brain go confused thinking of a 101 possibilities and I have the confidence to create a vision and gather/pull people to follow it with their hearts, i.e. peoples' person. All this might sound every egotistical but I have my weaknesses, just not stupid enough to put it on my blog.

So Conclusion - Going to stick to what is on my plate now. Sure something is going to come my way, and if it doesnt then you are not going to see me sit around and wait for things to happen. Going to make it happen!!! But till then I am a - hold on what is my designation???

Win Hearts or Minds

2006-06-22T11:23:00.000-07:00

So I seem to be a bit confused these days about the concept of winning hearts or the minds of individuals. I guess if one were to win the heart of an individual, then you are possibly looking at factors like loyalty, great support and constant advice from them. When you win the mind of an individual, I guess you expect the individual to follow your vision without any contemplation.

Is it possible to win the mind and the heart of an individual at the same time? Well i suppose you can but I think i rather win the heart than the mind. Why? Simple Answer: Rather think with many minds and beat with one heart, than many hearts and one mind.

I want people to believe in me and have loyalty towards me but I also want them to be able to think on their own and develop thoughts,ideas and concepts on their own. If i were to brainwash them and well winning minds is essentially something along those lines, then I would be a contemporay politican in a way. I guess my thinking is oriented towards my goal of estbalishing a company on my own or running one in the future from the post of a CEO, Chairman or President. I want to set an environment where I feel that people believe in me and have respect and loyalty towards me and the organization but in turn also be able to speak their minds and give criticsms to improve the organization. One key point that is always taken into a project by a project sponsor is the involvement of the individual who opposed the project in the first place. I believe that I can win the heart of that individual but not manipulate his/her mind and thinking in a negative way, so that the organization and myself benefit from his/her unique, fresh and critical thinking.

Loyalty and this comes mainly from the heart and not mind is a very powerful tool if used in the positive and correct way. It will make individuals follow your vision but with their own "tributaries" connecting to the main stream - thus making a larger and more powerful river.

So mentioned this to a friend today, and she laughed. She thought it was funny but hoped that I can prove her wrong. Well i guess I will have to wait for sometime to prove her wrong but will definetly strive to. But one thing i know for sure - I know i have won the loyalty of that friend but have not changed her style of thinking or won her mind. I also definetly know that when needed I am going to be getting critical feedback from her be it negative or positive - I guess I have already started the process!!!

:)

2006-06-22T11:11:00.000-07:00

Parents - Taken some Time Ago!!!

Hmmm Vodka and Red Bull at its Best!!!

Controlling Emotions --- Continued

2006-06-20T00:13:00.000-07:00

Well this is a continuation from my previous post "ControllingEmotions". Reason for continuation is to try and express why it is hard for individuals like myself to express or say things such as sorry and also to display that we do express positive feelings. A comment was made on my previous post, "But its also very important to make the balancer feel how important she/he is in your life and appreciate and express your love and affection and even apolgize", which made me ask myself a few questions. Yes it is important to express love and affection but one shouldn't take this in the Western form or context. In the West, people say "Sorry", or "I Love you" to express their apologies or love. In the East and definetly in countries like Sri Lanka or India, culturally things do not work this way. If I were to walk upto my mother today and say "Amma I love you", either she will give me a weird look or ask "Have you had lunch?". I hope you understand what i am trying to express here. Things do not work in these countries in the "Sleepless in Seattle" Western movie kinda way, where the son apologizes to the dad and they both hug, kiss and live happily ever after with their new found mom. Apologizing in these countries is talking about cricket to your dad once again or talking to your mother about the new girl who moved in next door and in my mother's context - just plain gossip LOL.

Yes, so i do understand that one should filter out positive feelings as well as the negative ones especially towards the one who you get annoyed with on a regular basis. I try to show positive feelings towards my mother everyday and somedays I fail. But i do definetly try, just dont do it in the "Western" way but in my own way so that my mother understands that i still care about her and she cares about me

Cheers.

The birth of an Idea

2006-06-16T11:28:00.000-07:00

It seems like the two sleeping giants - India and China are wakening upto the dreams of the modern world. Each has had her share of the spoils and taken different avenues to get to the pedestal they seem to be on right now. The Mao Revoltuion, the 100 Flower Campaign, the Tianmen Square Incident and the Little Red Book of the Communists are some of the highlights of the China's Modern History. Gandhi, Nehru, Sachin Tendulkar, BPO and Pakistan seem to be the highlights of the Indian one. When you look at these two countries, you will see alot of differences from the characterisitics of an Indian/Chinese to the makeup of the infrastructure the two countries possess and the list goes on. The greatest similarity you will find is that the two countries have been the greatest beneficiaries of ideas born abroad.

I am a firm believer in the philosophy that if an idea or a thought if unique and powerful and attains an audience of an apprecitable amount, it will succeed in the country of its birth or the regions where the idea was blossomed in. Obviously this applies to alot of modern day concepts but there are some ancient ones that I will highlight as well. Capitalism, Energy, Computers and Transport- some the more talked about concepts and entities were all born in the "Western World" in countries like America, UK, etc. This is why these concepts and technological revolutions continue to succeed and are accepted by indivudals in those nations. The East possess its own ideas as well. There is a lot of pride about a country's history, their old ancient traditions and family values and of course religion. Currently what seems to be taking place from a global point of view is an export and import of ideas, theologies, concepts, fundamentals, arts, etc. Americans are learning yoga and the average Indian knows about the gangster rapper 50 cents. There is an influx of ideas flowing both ways across the map. Yet, these ideas are not ones that will cause a major revolution or the birth of newer more powerful ones. The main driver behind China's manufacturing industry is the Western powers' investment and the same applies to India's BPO Industry. The product life cycle theory was not created in the blink of an eye and one can see its implementation in the world today.

At a certain point of time, more countries especially in the developed world are going to buy into the "globalization" theory and would want a chunk of the economic growth that countries like China and India have tasted. This would lead to more competition, jobs going away from Indians/Chinese and a whole lot more playing grounds for the Western powers. Some might argue that India and China will be prepared for this but to be prepared does not mean that the CEO of Wipro or the President of China knows the precautions to take. It has to be each individual's role to be prepared, to take strides to counter attack the possibilities of jobs going to other countries, economic freedom in other nations. Each individual has to be taught to think on his/her own, to generate ideas on their own, to think for themselves. One of the reasons why a programmer in India is very good at what they do is because they do not question the reasoning behind their work. They just do it. " Sir java or jsp ?"seems to be the only question.

Although America seems to have lost in the export of manufacturing goods and services to China and India, it has done extremely and powerfully well in the export of culture, concepts and especially ideas. Yes like I mentioned before there are followers of yoga, green tea and Krishna in the Western countries, but this is very minute when you compare it ideas like HipHop, democracy, abolishment of communism/socialism, free speech, computers, technology, modern day healthcare and CAPITALISM.

These are all ideas being bought by an Indian and Chinese everyday. Unless they come up with their own idea, their own innovation or their own big revolutionary concept that will attract a global audience, they will always remain the countries that followed America's ideas and built their success on it.

"Great Ideas and Innovations Distinguish a Great Leader and a Simple Follower"
- { I took Steve Jobs' quote and manipulated it}

Locked Up {Fiction}

2006-06-16T10:56:00.000-07:00

She looked absolutely stunning in that salwar. I just wanted to run my fingers through her black long hair which i knew would be smoother than silk right now. She must have just come out of the shower. Head & Shoulders apparently do the trick with the smell and silkness but you still wanted to be attracted to the person. I was, and I have been for 10 years now. She didnt notice me, but I was paying detail to every single part of her.

The long red ear rings suited her hand chains she was wearing. She was the perfect artist when it came to being elegant yet sophisticated while she dresses up her clients for their functions, parties, etc. She always wanted to do that. Her interest in creativity was unmatchable. I wanted to slide across and hug her from behind, knowing that it might startle her but when there is a picture pefect image, sometimes you like to sit and stare at it. She was my image, my inspiration to wake up every morning and my soul. 10 years, I havent felt anything less.

She turned around. I nearly cried. It is as if I had just seen her for the first time. I wish i never fall out of love with her. She was smiling and she knew that I was radiating inside. She had always known that. We fought, hated each other on certain days and absolutely killed each other in moments, but she knew she could melt me with just one smile. She had been making tea. Lipton Ceylon Tea to be exact. She knew I was the tea person in the evenings. Like an apple a day keeps a doctor away, a Sri Lankan brother needed his tea.

She sat beside me, confused as to why I was looking at her today in a more special way than the other days. She didnt know how much I had missed her, how much I miss her and how much I will continue to miss her. I heard a voice say "Baby, do you love so much you can stare at me all day ?".

I woke up with a chill in my spine and feeling frightened and excited. Those were her last few words. I was luckily to survive that crash. We didnt speak in the car after I had the tea that evening at home. I wanted to be with her in silence and enjoy her presence in the drive. She always checked whether i kept a photo of her in my wallet, but I guess she forgot and locked it up in my heart before she passed away .....

Staring {Fiction/Non Fiction}

2006-06-08T02:06:00.000-07:00

He stared. He waited. The eagerness to pop the question made him sweat more feverishly than the days on the rugby field. You knew he was tensed if you had seen him. I knew I was, just by looking into him.

What was he staring at? What was the question? Even he didnt know. I didnt have a clue either. The two cute girls in the next table were giggling to themselves. Maybe the dark, tall and handsome features he possessed could have helped in their laughter. Were they blushing? Well atleast it was a sign that he was attractive. That was a good ego boost and guess he needed it.

The gold lighting of the interior had already set the mood when he stepped into the restaurent. He knew it was going to be the perfect place. But to do what? He had anxiously bought that rose not sure in what context he was buying it in. Was it for a friend or was there more? He was confused again.

He knew he was going to miss her. He was departing soon. The luxurious life in Manhattan was awaiting his arrival. That's the life he always wanted and longed for, but did he want it now, at that moment of time. He knew that even a billion dollar cheque would not be enough to turn tables and give away the feeling he possessed right now and there. The pro-Manhattan soul within him popped out right now and was bashing his head, "Dude whats wrong with you, screw this gal, you can get many more in NY". He didnt want to listen. After all, he had listened to this "pro-enjoy life " person within him before and had made a grave mistake.

He knew he was going to stutter if he opened his mouth. Her chapstick just sat there on the table. A slight glimpse at it and the jealousy eroded through his veins. He was jealous of a stupid chapstick. Was he getting plain pathetic or was this the first time he was sitting with a girl? The latter was a big lie if he said it out aloud.

All he wanted to do was run his strong big hands against her soft neck and hold her - gently of course. He knew that if she held his hand, she would feel the pulse and in return feel his soul. Did he want to take that risk?

With the squeakiest of voices, he ordererd his meal when the waiter arrived. She, the assertive one, had already requested a portion of tender tandoori chicken. They both ordered a glass of red wine each. He thought that might smoothen the mood but she loved red wine and had no other intentions. He couldn't believe his suddent change in personality. The usually funny, outspoken lad had become quiet, soft-spoken and unbelievably shy. Maybe the feminine side in him had appeared at the wrong time.

[Dinner to be Continued....]

2006-05-22T00:39:00.000-07:00

Controlling Emotions

Have you ever noticed that you snap at the people you love most consistently? You dont snap at people who you want to impress nor do you get annoyed with them. You dont snap at friends but you snap at this one person - just this one person on a consistent basis. The person I snap at is my mother. Yes my loving mother who always tries to do the best for me. Maybe its because of that reason I guess, the feeling that whatever I do or say, my mother will always be like "That is my son so I have to do everything for him".

Others have their wives, some have husbands to get annoyed with. I guess you have to have such an individual to make you feel balanced. Yes I am using the word balanced because sometimes we harnass so much of negativity in ourselves but we kind of lock it in us. So by bringing that out in some form we are actually balancing ourself, so that the next time I walk into my office, I do not pull a trigger on someone { for all my colleagues i am just kidding. you know i wont do that ...LOL }.

And the funniest deal about all this is, I doubt I have ever said sorry to my mother and doubt I ever will. It is like a deal or an understanding. Mum and me fight - next day things back to normal. I have said sorry to enough and more people and some dont deserve it even in heaven but I just cannot say it to the one woman who probably cares about me more than anyone else in this world -- Suggestions???

2006-05-04T22:19:00.000-07:00

What do you think?

Think Theologies that Reflect Idealism but Implement them Realistically

- Thanesh Sadachcharan

2006-04-14T23:04:00.000-07:00

The concept of a "mindset"

Education doesnt really mean enlightment, and we can see in our everday lives, how even if an individual is educated, he/she doesnt have a single clue on issues of poverty, war, religion, politics, behavior , etc, etc. No wonder we have so many problems in the world these days. I am no saint but I try to keep an open mind on things and sometimes i fail and sometimes i succeed. I accept that fate as a human being.

Imagine the mindset of an individual who is not educated. I heard that the Goverment of Tamil Nadu had built a housing scheme for the poor, but what do they do, they give those houses for rent and go back to their original shanty town areas. I understand that they have no income for electricity, water, etc, etc that one would need to have to maintain a house, but people could use these housing schemes as a break to get away from the poor lifestyle. But no - their mindset prevents them from doing so. What can the Goverment do? Well their mindsets is pretty conceivable. They give houses away but forget abt the real necessities of people - a job, an income, an education. The Goverment's mindset is pretty easy to figure out as well. Act like you are doing something for the people but dont give a real shit about the real problems. Keep the poor - poor and thus get the votes.

So a solution in the making - nah. Pretty hard to go around changing crores of peoples' lives when no one really wants to listen. You could say thats my mindset on the issue - thus i have failed.

2006-03-25T19:48:00.000-08:00

Complain and Fail or Resolve and Succeed!!!

I still seem to not have overcome the tragerdy or failure of my first project :( . Yes sad indeed and as the saying emphasizes "Life must go on", cannot seem to follow it. I seem to have scrutinized every single aspect of that project - from my lack of knowledge of the technologies involved, the learning curve of business analysis and the fact that it was my first project, but i think i got the overall picture of why I failed.

I failed because I complained and complained but never really took time out to resolve the issues at hand or well didnt really give 100% to it. When I look back on the days at the client site, I always seem to remember how much crap i spoke about the business managers there or still continue to speak about. What i should have realized was that they are business managers and my role there was to try and resolve their issues instead of acting as the prosecutor. I would look at a task at hand and usually try to scrutinze it which i think is fine but that usually led to me not understanding the problem at hand and making it even bigger.

Then what happened....

The other day, I was thinking about my current project and tried to pinpoint the problems and well i thought i will keep it to myself. Seemed to have benefited because i started to try and resolve some of them through constructive conversations. This led to well work being done faster, more recognition and also a greater harmony among team members because no one was COMPLAINING!!!! Thus we were getting SHIT done!!!!

So Conclusion ...

We dont have to criticise everything i suppose and even if we do, well maybe we can try to resolve it ourself if we see it as a problem, and mention the solution after mentioning the issue at hand. Seems to work out better in the end.

2006-03-22T21:23:00.000-08:00

The concept of "making a change"

Individuals, they say either think they are the product of Satan or Christ. I used to think that way too for some odd reason, till i realized that well everyone else feels the same way too. :) . Everyone from a young age also feel like that they have to make a change, like since they are the product of Satan or Christ, that they have to do something big and write their names in history. I used to think that way too, till I realized that things need to be done in a smart way rather than the hard way sometimes. I used to think that making a change would be to eradicate Sri Lanka of all corruption, or maybe even running for Presidency to end the civil war - very FOOLISH THINKING!!! - YES , but hey i was reaching for the skies so that i can atleast touch the treetops.

So my course of action in making a change has currently come under great scrutiny by myself. No more changing the country and no more fasts to end civil war. The new concept that i am theorizing, and well great scholars have already put this in words but i just found out last night { :) }, is to do something small and effective. The niche projects you can call them if you are a techy. We cant change the country, that would be like building the next Windows and taking over the OS market. But what we can do is make plug-ins for the current OS so that it well has say better secutiry features and like wise, in our generation or the next, we will not be able to solve all the problems of the world, but what we can do is make a small imapct, maybe get up in the morning tomorrow and teach a kid how to use the computer, or chat with some young school kid about the essentials of a good education and or maybe even why he/she should dream BIG!!!

2006-02-03T09:51:00.000-08:00

Ah Long Time!!!

It's been nearly two months I guess when I last wrote my draft for this blog and a lot of things have happened since then. Well for one thing I am in Sri Lanka right now!!! YEAHH!!! NOOO!!! NOT SURE{CONFUSED}!!!! Went to New York for New Years and was too drunk to see the Great Ball Drop and was passed out by 1. New York - well that is defintely not the place for me. Way too fast paced. Way too hectic and people have no time.

Went to vacate in Tempe for a while before coming to Sri Lanka and well that was a ball of a time. Partied day in and night out, drank way too much and smoked enough cigarattes to die of cancer next year, BUT IT WAS ALL WORTH IT.

Well just to give my faithful readers, whom I can count with my fingers, that I will start writing again on a periodic basis that will not be longer than a week.

Keep Reading :)

2005-12-02T14:45:00.000-08:00

Family Perception

So what does your immediate family think of you? Do they already have a pre determinded idea on how you should behave, who you should be and what you should do? Do you interact with your parents in an open-minded way?

Well, I used to think that my parents knew everything that there is to know about me. I have definetly allowed them to interact with my girl friends, they know that I am ambitious politcally and professionally and they also know that I drink and party, but is that enough? Do you tell your parents when you are sick, when and if you are living abroad? Kinda hard right, since you might think that it will worry them. Do you want them to know that it is okay for you to make mistakes? Well - thats a real tough one. Parents dont think like that. They want you not to make the mistakes they did, and it is very hard to convince them that you will not learn in life until you make your own mistakes.

I sometimes wonder whether I am doing certain things in life right now, to satisfy my parents, because they worked hard to get me a good education in the America. Do I have to repay that debt in order to allow myself to follow my own dreams? When is it a good time to say,"Okay, I am glad you did this all for me, but let me make my own destiny now".

My mentor says that parents already have a perception of us, and I guess i can agree with that statement now. So how do we change it ? Can we change it? Tell them the good and bad that comes with their own product. Well, I guess its going to be really hard but what we can try to do is this. If we have our own children one day, maybe we can act in a manner that is contradictory to what we perceive as "flaws" in our parents. Not jumping to conclusions, listening, allowing them to make their own decisions and mostly giving them the "PERCEPTION" that there might be no perception, for they are their own true identity - and that we as parents take the good and the bad.

2005-11-24T23:46:00.000-08:00

Dreams???

Are Dreams just some kind of subconscious thoughts or can they be real? If real, are they the future or the past? I am not talking about aspirations by an individual to succeed. These are generally thoughts that are on the conscious minds, like wanting to succeed in business or wanting to make a difference in someone's life. I am talking about an actual dream, the thought processes that one's brain undergoes during a period of sleep/nap. I had a wonderful dream the other day, but the chances of making it a possibility does not remain in my hands but in the hands of a significant other. The funny thing is, this significant other, has not crossed my mind in a very long time, but the dream felt so real, I could smell the environment right now. Am i going to follow the dream? Well, that remains to be seen in the future, but what I can say is this - I feel a lot better now, cause I am damn good DREAMER!!!

2005-10-27T23:54:00.000-07:00

A Great Quote by a Great Man

"Religions are different roads coverging upon the same point. What does it matter that we take different roads, so long as we reach the same goal"

-Mahatma Gandhi

2005-10-24T19:28:00.000-07:00

Animals...Are We???

Well does mankind really possess the nerve to outwit the fact that he/she is really a true animal??? During the last probably 10,000 years, thanx to the general concept of evolution, mankind, or what we term as human beings today for the prupose of discrimnation against the female, has got smarter thus leading to new innovations and entities called technology and quantum physics have sprung up. But does this deteriorate the fact that human beings are animals. Lets look at a couple of examples to prove my point, which is basically even though God created humans to rule the world, unfortunately he made them evolve through animals, thus even though years of progression has made to allow for humans to become "humans", we still have the "animal instincts".

1.) We kill each other - DAMN !!! Can i just stop my point there? I mean when God created these "humans", he probably thought "hey, they are going to be living in peace with each other". But oh no - we came from apes and other animals { God knows what other facts scientists will find in the future }. So we have the tendency to fight and kill each other for power, territory and other essentials. Hmmm Animal!!!

2.) We eat other living beings - Yes this is so called "vegan" group recently has started changing this concept around but any vegan at some point has had meat or the flesh of another living being. Animals do that too, they eat other living beings.

Hmmm My brain stopped functioning ... I am going to continue this at some later time...

2005-10-17T13:14:00.000-07:00

Famous Phrases from my First Project!!!

"Sounds like a plan" - SR

"Thats it" - AM

"Sai Baba" -RK

"In Pacific Air...." - AM

"In Chennai...." - MC

"That's a good breed..." - RS

"Where are the requirements docs" - TK

2005-10-16T23:52:00.000-07:00

Unusual Memories

So whats the first thing that a click talk about when they meet after a long time??? The one hundred and one stupid things that they have done ever since they all met... When I met my gang in Tempe 2 weeks ago, we started the whole "memory lane trip" from the time G Dog and I had a cigaratte outside work, to when Vassa and G Dog puked over a tequila competiton to the time when Bunty got kicked out of Axis and Radius for drinking too much on his bday and last but not least Manish pissing outside that water fountain...Oh lets not forget the Internationally self renowned playa Hashi, with his cellphone. People dont remember us sometimes in the most nicest way we would like them to remember us in. Sometimes its the most stupides and hilarious things that we do which keeps us in our memories as well as theirs.

Had a chat with Ifham, a brother I havent met in like 4 years and what do we chat about??? Well the time when "the python" rolled out { another top notch story } to our great drunkard episodes after visiting some bars and clubs. From when Sanjeev said he didnt eat anything to when he puked like a big carnivore to when Rifad said that the bottle belonged to him ...{ that is one great story} .... To when Abi and I hit some inncoent Chinese kid in school because he had hit Ifham 6 months ago to P making out with some gal in the rickshaw ... and of course BABAZ and his gems ...

ME --- well i know for sure the "cheeseecaakkkee" idea is hilarious and so much for "Y' america"... and the nice indian ladies who got a nice "talking" at e4....

Weird as it might seem, these are some of the greatest memories in my life. Come to think of it, even receiving those great certificates nor getting any prizes on stage really stick in my head.What sticks??? My friends ....

Thanx folks ...

2005-10-12T23:13:00.000-07:00

Hashi & Paul,

Hashi just graduated from college with a degree in Information System, and Paul has been working for an year at the bank.

When Hashi interviewed at Dashboard, Inc a leading distributor of office supplies, for a job as an Assistant Manager, he thought he could climb the corporate ladder and succeed. He also needed an H1 visa to stay in the country. He said yes, pay was less though.

Paul left the bank and joined a IT company. Nice desk { cubicle } - 9 to 5 job. Pretty laid back.

Hashi goes to work first day. His job is to carry boxes and paste stickers on them. He has to do this till December. Has to go to work at 6 and come back at 5:30.

While Hashi rushes off bed to work at 5:30 in the morning, Paul wakes up at 8, has a nice cigaratte and coffee, reads the paper and goes to work dressed very smart. Hashi goes in shorts and a short sleeve.

Hashi is burnt by the time he comes home from the warehouse. Paul looks refreshed, after all he was in the A/C all this time.

Paul and Hashi sit down to have a cigaratte and talk. Paul looks at Hashi and says " Machang, what a bitch of a day".

{True Story}

2005-10-12T23:06:00.000-07:00

She smiled. Why? Not sure. I was confused.

It was as if a woman had never smiled at me before. I felt a sense of accomplisment, vague as it might seem. She spoke. I only heard the noise of the weird music the DJ was playing and my own thoughts. What was I thinking?

I stuttered as usual. She smiled back knowing that I was weak.

We spoke, knowing that any moment my lack of words is going to give way to the lady's departure.

It happened. She smiled and walked away.

All because of a Texas Longhorns T-shirt!!!!

2005-10-12T16:49:00.000-07:00

A "useless" discussion

So I met my ASU click after nearly 10 months this weekend. Bunty is from Delhi, G Dog from Bangalore and Vassa from the African country Mozambique. All of them very smart, from wealthy families and indiviuals who have open minds about everything except Pakistan. I am not sure why such individuals feel this way in India and Pakistan about each other. See when the partition took place in 1948 these individuals' parents were not even born, but yet they seem to have that much patriotism like as if they lived during that era. I tried to explain that they are at a higher level in society and that their words and acts could be influential on other people's thinking and attitude. I am not sure whether that made any effect. My point is this - the individuals who suffer through such wars are innocent poor people. It is not as if most of the affluent families are going to send their children to war. Yet somehow even though they are not directly involved in the war, they support it without realizing that they are not the ones who will lost most and dearly. Why? I am clueless ....

P.S. These men are very smart... They are just toooo partriotic ....

2005-10-12T16:21:00.000-07:00

Messenger and the Message

As I was coming from Tuscon on Sunday, my friend Kathy made a statement which well made me think for a brief second. Usually not a thinker, more like an analyzer, and well i guess i analyzed the statement she made. She said " her God", refering to Allah, during a small conversation about a mutual friend. Obviously she did not intend any harm or try be offensive, because I believe she is an aetheist or atleast she says she is, but yet the fact that she { Kathy } is a Roman Catholic and refering to her friend's God as "her God" was quite remarkable. The concept that made the two words remarkable is the fact that all Muslims, Christians and Jews believe in the one and same God but they have different Messengers. If you talk to any Muslim, Christian or Jew, or most of the ones that I have spoken to, it seems that they give more priority to the Messenger of God rather than God himself. So when she was refering to our friend's God , she was actually talking about her God.So why do people talk like that? So my question is, is language the barrier for these three religions or is it pride that makes them separate beacause each one wants to hold onto his/her messenger to be the true knight of God??? This makes me feel that God's message is not as worth as from whom it came. I mean take alook at the Bible and it says "Help the Poor" and the Quaran says the same thing. Yet what seems to be more important is that Jesus Christ said " Help the Poor" and Mohammad said that in another language. What seems more important is that the Bible was written in Latin and Quaran in Arabic. So what does this all mean in my head??? People give more priority to who gave the word of God than the word of God or God himself .....

2005-10-10T23:42:00.000-07:00

Had a ball of a time in Tempe, WOW. Man social capital/network really does matter in every aspect of life. Since I have so many friends down in Tempe, AZ because i went to school at Arizona State University, I had so much fun down there. Anyways big thanx to the boys and gals down there who made my time there awesome!!!!

2005-09-30T15:10:00.000-07:00

Person A and Person B

This friend of mine from Bombay by the name of Shamik Banargee gave me one the greatest pieces of advice I have ever got and I have not even shared it with anyone. What a dam bastard I am? Anyways this is what he said and trust me this counts in everyday life!!! So Person A is communicating with Person B. Person B seems like he/she doesnt understand what the fuck Person A is saying. You get the norms that he/she doesnt understand or is not interested because you get the little smirks, no eye contact at all, they are fidgiting around, giving that "I dont know/care/understand" look. So whos fault is this??? Should person B be blamed?? Nope Person A... Why??? Well its person A who is trying to communicate right, so he/she should be able to explain or communicate what he/she is thinking using the simplest of words so that Person B can understand. If people just started rambling on their thoughts without considering whether the listener really understands, then there is no fucking point in communicating is there. So it is more important for the communicator to adjust to "noise" and make sure that the listener is getting the "information" that he/she is trying to project through a certain "channel" or "frequency". Makes sense. .... If it doesnt, you know whos fault it is right???

2005-09-30T15:08:00.000-07:00

To all you new Graudates....

Whe you graduate out of college, you imagine that all your projects are just like that cool team project that you did in your CIS 494 class, where the professor was really impressed and gave u an A+. Well boys and gals, unfortunately let me shatter your dreams. That is not the way contemporary businesses work. I think my current project is OVER - GONE - BYE BYE AMIGO kind of stage. This is just the way businesses work. Sometimes you do well and other times you dont. Sucks. Client feels great the first few months and then all of a suddent they are biggest son of a bitches that you have ever met. Sucks. I always imagined projects to be over like a nice broadway play. You have the curtain call, i.e. meet with the client, they accept it, tell u what a great project you have finished and thank you for an excellent job. Then you hug the actors/team players and say they are great guys to work with and then THE END. But hey just another dream and I am back to reality... BANG!!!!

2005-09-29T00:57:00.000-07:00

Something new ...Hope you {reader} understand ...

Pathway to Redemption

Born with the ability to think and learn,
Can I waste my life and just burn?
Born with two legs and two arms,
Can I ponder on about, those who have none?

Born with the ability to change and want,
Can I take on the responsibility that I just so long?
Born with the ability to know wrong and right,
Am I man enough to show others the light?

Born with a family who love and care,
Should I throw away everything and run towards the nightmare?
Born with the ideals of peace and calm,
Can I puncture this feeling of guilt and and cause myself no harm?

Born in a country that desires hate and prays to the holy,
Can I melt the heat that spreads so broadly?
Born with none and born with no ploy,
Can I return as a man and not as a boy?

Thanesh Sadachcharan

2005-09-25T10:13:00.000-07:00

So what does it take to have casual sex with someone, anyone? Well, I have absolutely no idea!!! Sometimes it happens, and sometimes it doesnt, and for sometime now it hasnt happened...LOL ...my roomie thinks that a man has to be confident, give a "no-care" attitude and just has to be damn cocky but with an interesting coversation ... i think my imagination of interesting conversations are politics, war, religion, etc and i bet if i ever go put to some lady at the bar and say " soo ummm what do you think of that legislation being passed to reduce gun violence in the Bronx" ...hmmm i think i would be lucky to get a smile and a walk away routine... So i guess it takes certain personalties to do this kind of stuff ...walk into a bar, talk to some random lady there, make up some coversation and than well hopefully get laid ...ME - well i think i am obsessed with the gal who is going to fall head over heals over me... happened twice... i was a stupid boy then and let it go both times like an ass .... well it were good lessons though ...so what do i want now ..still the same thing ...meet some random gal , start a conversation but hopefully i really like her ...no seriously ...sometimes i think i am really stupid but hopefully it works out my way ...

2005-09-25T00:04:00.000-07:00

Difference between America and countries like Sri Lanka/India!!!!

So whats the difference??? Well for some people think that American history is too short and others think that Indian/Sri Lankan history is more important than its present status. As a Sri Lankan I think appreciating once culture, history and traditions is fine, but what annoys me is when people use these entities as an excuse to avoid or hinder progression of the country. If someone is to tell me right now, " well i dont want a country like America which is too industrialized but I like the way things are right now". I will probably say "well mate let me send tou back to stone age or the age of apes, you might like that abit better". It doesnt make sense to say one day that yes we have progressed enough, and I guess thats what some developing coun tries have come to. They are so fantasized by their past that they dont want to think about the future. They are so worried and hurt by the past that they dont want to realize their mistakes and make a better life for their children. I am not pro-America nor anit-America, but I do appreciate the way America does look to the future. It is a country of diversifed people from Cacussion to Chinese to Indian. You want find this many different people in any other country. So my basic point is , we can learn something from this country with its "short" history. We can love our past but we cant keep living it. We got to move on and try to succeed, or atleast die trying.!!!!

2005-09-24T23:48:00.000-07:00

Well on the way back from work on Thursday, a very serious dicussion was brought into focus by my workmates. This dicussion was a result of the long drive, thanx to the many drivers on the i-35 because of the hurricane rita. My workmates, including my boss/mentor and I started talking about war, religion and anything that fell along the lane called "sensitive issues". I was as usual accused of being an idealistic. The themes at the end of the discussion or well you can say when the dicussion ended after i was dropped home, revloved around the separation of states and what it might take to bring humans together. I feel that separation of states does not bring a amiable solution to any kind of problem. History proves this and one just needs to take a look at India/Pakistan, Israel/Palestine, South/North Korea and my own native country Sri Lanka. If Sri Lanka were to separate into Eelam and Lanka it would defintetly have to follow the footsteps of the other countries mentioned. The best way to bring about solutions that can last forever is to make people focus on a common goal. People might have different tastes, preferences, likes, dislikes but at the end of the day, put them in a room and ask them to find a solution to a problem. THEY DO FIND A SOLUTION!!! Look at teams, how do they work? They have common goals. So what can be common goals for humans, well there are many... some of them are 1.) stop making wars and make peace 2.) abolish poverty and hunger around the world. etc, etc, etc..... Look at America, as a state they are weak but as a nation of 50 states - they are strong. So this is my point... we got to believe in people, we go to think that if people join together then they can dream of anything. We got to give people a chance ....We got to live together and DREAM OF UTOPIA or atleast an "idealistic" society.... { To all the people who think I am stupid, Let me correct you, I am just a stupid dreamer }

2005-09-21T09:01:00.000-07:00

So got an awesome Bday gift. Got to see the great musician Ravi Shankar in concert. Absolutely fantastic. His daughter Anushka is also GREAT in looks and talent. For an old guy, he is absolutely quick with his fingers. Took him some time to get into the groove, but once in there, unstoppable. I guess it runs in the family, the music genes, including Norah Jones. Thanx Shaq and PK.

2005-09-19T20:34:00.000-07:00

In a matter of an hour, I turn one year older. What have I achieved in the past so many years? Well to simply say nothing would mean that I have just let down my parents who have worked so hard to get me to the position I am in now. They had to undergo a lot of problems and hardship in my native country Sri Lanka to get me a good education in the United States. But why do I feel as if I still have not achieved anything? Sometimes I wonder whether I have not gone through enough in life? Not enough hardship not enough pain. I have gone through a lot and have made my self mentally strong but I still feel that I havent seen the worse of the worst. If I were to pray to God and ask him why I got a life like this and some kid in Jaffna got a life like that, he would probably say "Exchange Then". The kid in Jaffna will probably say yes and I guess I would say yes as well. I am not trying to be a saint or anything because I certainly am not, but as years have gone by I have realized that I am previlged member of the human race, but I feel as I dont want to be. I feel as if every human should go through the suffering that people in Africa or Bosnia or Sri Lanka go through. What makes me so special to get this life I have now? I sometimes get annoyed by little stuff such as my computer being not superfast as the person sitting next to me. But kids in the NE part of Lanka have not even seen a damn computer? Does it make sense that people have such unequal lifestyles? This guilt of such a good life versus the pain some kid my age is going thtough is KILLING MEEEE, and every person I talk to probably thinks I am an idiot. So I guess this is what I am going to do. I am going to hopefully stay healthy till the age of 26. By that time, I hope I have satisfied my parents wishes. I owe them that. Then I am going to join a relief agency like Red Cross and devote my life to teaching kids. HOPE I dont die before that and really hope I dont get married by then!!!

2005-09-18T18:48:00.000-07:00

A poem I wrote 4 years ago. I know it sucks but someone from poetry.com said it was good. Got a couple more in there. If you want to read it go to http://www.poetry.com and type "Thanesh" under "First Name".

Undying Love
I want to hold her close,
But I can't.
The burns on her face,
the scars on her cheeks,
make me resist her,
but i still love her.
In her eyes,
I see the face of the woman,
who helped me when i was sick,
when i needed her to be there,
but i cant hold her,
yet i still love her.
Her soul passes away,
and i didnt hold her whe she needed me,
I wanted to but i couldn't,
Why did God do this to me?
Why did not God allow me to hold the woman i love,
when she needed me so badly?
Why did I die before she did?

If you think its corny, well this is what happens when you are in love. Try it sometime. Pretty warm feeling.

2005-09-18T18:16:00.000-07:00

So what motivates People? I have no idea. I guess its all about getting to know the individual very personally and see what ticks them. I guess what gets my motor running is politics, religion, war and a general argument. All the characterisitcs and traits of a 22 year old, politically frustrated individual who wants to be "super-man" and change the world. But I think I know what really ticks me and gets me to run the 100 metre sprint with my 240 pound mass in less than 5 seconds. Obivously I will not explicitly state that in this blog, just in case a friend of mine reads it and starts annoying me with it. But the question of motivating people will probably lead to the fundamental question of managing people. Managing people, I feel is a skill that can be learnt but there has to be some intuitive, gut actions that really define the "manager", a leader of some sorts, but doesnt have to be great. Just at times to get the highest productivity and efficiency out of his/her people. So I guess there are three kinds of methods to motivate people. Some people just dont get motivated. Its like that robot "Marvin" from the book/movie "The HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy". Then there are others who like to be spoon fed, continuously supported through words of wisdom, support and advice. Then there are the ones who get motivated by getting "pissed" off by actions, statements, ridicules,words and smirks. LOL!!! I know what group I belong to!!!!

2005-09-18T17:29:00.000-07:00

This is ME.

Thanesh K Sadachcharan

2005-09-18T17:00:00.000-07:00

Ever been Proud of someone and jealous of them at the same time. Well I guess I am feeling that way these days. Went for a concert of a fellow Sri Lankan by the name of M.I.A a.k.a Maya Arulpragasam. She was AWESOME!. Made a stupid comment to her after the concert. Told her that she should do more for Sri Lanka through her lyrics and talk about Jaffna and its people. I am Tamil too, but what I did not know was the pain that she went through to get there. Her father was a founding member of PLOTE ( a military outfit in Sri Lanka fighting the goverment.) She had to move to England when she was only 10 and had to work her ass off to get to where she is now. Her music is absolutely amazing. You can visit her at http://www.miauk.com. I guess the reason why I am proud of her is because she has put Sri Lanka on the map as far as music is concerned. She is also bringing more attention to the Lankan Civil War and also the journey she has gone through to get to where she is now. AMAZING indeed and I hope one day she writes a book to allow people to see how previliged some of us really are in life. Reason why I am jealous? Well I have always wanted to be politically involved, know what is going on in the world, help change the world, do something useful. Well I am a Documentum Consultant in Austin, TX working with a major IT company on a big project, but just dont seem satisfied at all. And what Maya is doing is what I wish I could be doing. Well not singing but making a difference in this world. Making a change somehow, letting a meaningful life, passing a message. She is doing it and I aint. I guess as a 22 year old, I am politically frustrated and that is fine. But I feel I have to do something for my country before I die. I guess after I pay off some debt that I owe my parents for them having to work hard to send me to the USA to study, than I can concentrate on my personal ambitions of being a good leader. Anyways really check out M.I.A. She is awesome.

2005-07-21T07:10:00.000-07:00

Well, Do people like to lie or are people put in a envirnoment where they have to. I am not sure about whether both should be carried out by individuals but I have realized that the latter is a bit less of a "sin" than the first. Having said that, I think it is important to confess the truth even in a situation that exhibits dilemma. I think I realized this now and have confessed the truth to the people involved in this dilemma. And what I have realized is that if the people involved are really concerned about your well being, then chances are that telling the truth is the best thing to do. It also somehow lifts alot of pressure off your shoulders.

2005-07-16T10:59:00.000-07:00

Another thing I learnt about being prejudice and judgemental. Well the point here is this, I was very skeptical about people going to strip bars. I felt that it is unethical and should not be done especially by people who are married. But I came across an example that well you could say made me think otherwise. Suppose you are or should be practicing something, i.e. praying but your roommate does it on a regular basis but he still attends strip bars, yet you view strip bars as an unethical thing and he views praying as an important thing.Yet your roomate does not make any views about you or does not judge you on the fact that you do not pray, I think you should do the same for him and not judge for attending strip bars. Simple case but hard to understand. Hope I made sense. Its hard not being judegemental, but we can atleast try and reduce it Right!!!

2005-07-16T10:53:00.000-07:00

Started writing again!!! Just got off a chat with a new mentor of mine, well he is my boss currently. I was very confused as to why an individual should learn one skill in the IT industry if he/she wants to become a president or chairman of a company,at a certain point in time in their life. Well he asked me to think about Bruce Lee, well bruce lee mastered an art called wing chun, and than he created his own kind of martial art. The basic point here he said was that you cann be jack of all and master of none but master of one and jack of all. Made alot of sense to me, hope this helps to anyone who is reading this.